Tuesday, February 04, 2014
What it feels like.
Ever been stone in love? Head-over-heels, breathtakingly, hopelessly in love?
Maybe it was your first high school crush. You couldn't wait to see him; everything came to life when the two of you were together. Oh, sure, you had your family and friends, but nothing, nothing, came close to the feeling of being with that guy.
The absolute head rush of just the thought of him was incredible. The giddy, dizzy feeling of actually spending time with him. That stomach roll when you'd see him. The idea that you'd do anything, anything to see him again, as soon as possible. Because life was just plain old, boring life, but time spent with him? Was incredible. Technicolor. The best thing ever.
That's what an opiate addiction feels like.
I wasn't going to add my two cents to the whole Philip Seymour Hoffman thing, but then people started talking about how he threw his life away. How he had everything to live for; a family, money, fame, a career doing what he loved; and he just tossed it away for heroin. Hell, *I* was thinking that.
But when you are addicted, when you are in the grip of a drug, nothing feels as good as doing that drug does. Nothing ever could. And sure, you've got your wife and your kids and your fabulous job and your famous friends, but unless you can break the grip of the addiction, and stay that way, you will always throw it all away in a second for your true love.
Even if you don't want to. Even if you hate doing it. Even if it's been twenty damn years. You can't help it. Because nothing feels as good as doing that drug does.
So as much as I hate what happened, I do understand it. Some people just aren't strong enough to beat it. Sad, but true.
Just say no, kids. Just say no.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
So true.
I remember all too well the "ahhhh" moment when I took Xanax (by Rx). That's why I don't take it anymore. I take Klonopin, also by Rx, but will be revisiting its use soon when I next talk to my shrink.
Same with any addiction, it just takes over and nothing else matters.
Addicts kill themselves trying to replicate that first high, and it can't be done. But people sure do die trying.
And it's understandable, you know? I mean, if you could do something that would make you feel better than you'd ever felt, that made you feel like a god, wouldn't you want to keep on doing it?
It takes a strong person to walk away, is all I'm saying.
"He had everything to live for" and "Why do so many great artists battle addiction?" are the phrases I keep hearing too, and I find those comments pretty ignorant.
For one, is it okay for someone who isn't famous or has a crappy job or crappy family life to do drugs? Hopefully, the answer if no. But if you say that you could understand someone turning to drugs when their life was terrible, then why can't we imagine that PSH went through terrible times as well? As for the "artist" bit, people of all professions deal with addiction.
It's a myth that certain people (you know, "those" people) do drugs and everyone else ("us") doesn't. His death was in the news, but there are so many more that aren't.
That's my two cents. Sorry for ranting on your blog :)
Kate, you can rant here any time. :)
And yeah, if it was Joe Schmo in the trailer park who killed himself shooting up, people say good riddance, but if it's someone famous, people call it a tragedy. Go figure.
Post a Comment