Thursday, December 19, 2013
Nothing's changed, except for hope, maybe
Despite the fact that my mother has a pretty crystal-clear Living Will, the social worker at the nursing home is pushing my sister Ditzy and I, mom's health care proxies, for more clarification, as it is becoming apparent that mom is not eating and drinking enough to keep her alive.
Her Living Will specifies no tube feeding, no artificial hydration, no extraordinary measures, no resuscitation, and maximum pain relief.
I dunno, I think that's pretty understandable, personally, but if the social worker needs me to skywrite it for her, I certainly will if it will make her feel better.
"Dope her up and let her go," I'm tempted to say, but I guess that would make me some kind of monster, wouldn't it? Then again, if I can think it, I already am one.
I will move heaven and earth, if I can, to ensure that she has a peaceful passing.
That's all we can wish for, in the end, isn't it?
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3 comments:
If your mom made a living will, her mind knows what it wants. If she isn't eating when food is provided her body knows what it wants. Maybe the nurse just wants to know that you are in agreement.
A living will is for times just like these. In a moment of calm reflection removed from the emotion of crisis, your mom decided that she wanted to ease on out without heroic life-prolonging measures. Her quality of life was more important than her length of life. Maybe they are asking if the "no force feeding" means "no assistance getting her to intake nutrients" such as having the staff feed her or keeping her hydrated through a simple IV drip.
I think the confusion might stem from the fact that Ditzy keeps trying to spoon-feed her. Sometimes she takes the food and sometimes she won't, and it isn't nearly enough to sustain her, and if it makes Ditz feel better, I don't have a problem with it, but yeah, it could be muddying the waters some at this point.
In any event, we are still trying to set something up with the social worker, to get things clarified.
It's just a grim damn business, is all.
Oh, and as I discovered in the nursing home, if you thought Carrie Underwood's acting in The Sound of Music was bad, try watching anything on the Hallmark Channel sometime. Holy cow. I didn't even know there WERE that many bad actors.
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