Tuesday, April 15, 2008

My (Least) Favorite Things

Warning: Fairly graphic discussion of medical procedures to follow. You've been warned!

S0! This morning I had to go to the ob-gyn for my annual check-up. And while this is certainly not my favorite thing to do, while I was there, I was thinking, "well, at least I'm not at the dentist".

Because going to the dentist is absolutely my least favorite thing to do. Long story short, I avoided going to the dentist for way too many years because of previous bad experiences, so when I finally started going again, they had lots of work to do, and then things got screwed up and I got TMJD and was in pain for MONTHS because I went to the damn dentist, and then it seemed like everytime I went, something went wrong, even a stupid cleaning, and I don't give a shit what anybody tells you, going to the dentist is NOT painless, and that's my dentist story.

Now, going to the dermatologist for my yearly skin checkup is also not a lot of fun, mainly because my dermatologist is a creepy little guy who doesn't speak English very well, and I'm beginning to suspect he might not be a doctor at all but is instead impersonating a doctor, like that guy Leonardo DiCaprio played in the movie Catch Me If You Can. But a least going to the dermatologist is not painful, except of course when they have to remove moles, which is painful, but that's not part of the annual checkup.

Speaking of mole removal, this one time I had to have a mole removed right next to my bellybutton, and the doctor numbed me up and started cutting but I could FEEL him slicing into me, and I grimaced, and he numbed me up some more, and he started cutting again but I could still FEEL it, and he numbed me up some more and I grimaced some more because, yep, still FEELING the slicing and stitching, and finally he said he couldn't numb me any further because he was afraid the tissue surrounding the area would DIE and then I'd have really major problems, and I let him go ahead and finish the surgery, FEELING every single slice and stitch and yeah, that kind of sucked. Big time. And now I have a giant scar right next to my bellybutton, and every time I go to the ob-gyn (like this morning!) she asks if I had my gall bladder removed because THAT'S THE SIZE OF THE SCAR I HAVE thanks to a stupid mole removal procedure and ....... um .......... where was I?

Oh yeah. Going to the dentist is my least favorite thing to do. What's yours?


listie said...

Going to the gyn is right up there on the list, even if they are nice women. But, today I'd have to say the eye doctor. I have one eye dilated and one not. The whole afternoon I've been walking around with one eye closed and feeling off-kilter.

Rockycat said...

That sounds discombobulating.