Now, "The Christmas Shoes", or whatever the hell the name of that song is about the kid whose Mom DIES ON CHRISTMAS EVE, is pretty cringe-inducing. But I'd like to make a case for "The Little Boy That Santa Claus Forgot". I first heard this little gem several years ago, and I still crack up every time I hear it. Because I am strange, and evidently heartless. Here's the lyrics, with acknowledgment going to whoever needs to be acknowledged:
"Christmas comes but once a year for ev'ry girl and boy,
The laughter and the joy they find in each toy
I'll tell you of a little boy who lives across the way;
This little feller's Christmas is just another day.
He's the little boy that Santa Claus forgot,
And goodness knows he didn't want a lot.
He sent a note to Santa for some soldiers and a drum;
It broke his little heart when he found Santa hadn't come.
In the street, he envies all those lucky boys,
Then wanders home to last year's broken toys.
I'm so sorry for that laddie;
He hasn't got a daddy,
He's the little boy that Santa Claus forgot."
I believe that Nat King Cole maybe sang this one. Thanks, Nat, for recording possibly the most depressing Christmas song ever! Oh, yeah, and thanks too for the not-so-subtle inference that kids without Dads GET NO CHRISTMAS. Suck it up, kiddo! Daddy split? Then you're SOL with Santa! Happy Holidays!