Friday, December 21, 2007

Clash of the Choirs, THE END

You know, I was really just watching this last one out of an odd sense of obligation (you STARTED watching this mess, now you FINISH watching it). So when it got to be, oh, 8:50 or so, I was all, like, "Thank God, just ten more minutes!" But then it got to be like, 8:55, and they still had not announced a winner, and the hostess was all, "Coming up - Michael Bolton performs!", and I was all like, "WTF?", and oh my GOD, they expanded it to two hours. My heart sank. Another HOUR?! Oh, crap.

The hostess's dress was very nice. Classy. And she could breathe, raise her arms, and walk in this one.

Country-singer guy said that he wasn't looking for voices that blend, he was looking for lead singers. For the millionth time, it's a CHOIR competition. Gah. Also, he talked about how he still knew nothing about choirs. Really? After five weeks? That's a slow learning curve. He was probably sitting in a bar doing shots and trying to picking up women while the choir was rehearsing. Oh, and he "lip-synced" his guitar part during the first song.

Team LaBelle did "No More Drama". Basically a solo, but a good solo.

Team Lachey did "What a Wonderful World". Actual vocal harmony - holy shit! (Yeah, bridgett, you're right; let's just cede the solos to the ones who can actually sing - i.e., the black people). I enjoyed this one.

Oh, no, then came another "death story". After which the hostess (talking about the performance), said, "You guys killed it! killed it! killed it!" Oops. Hahahahahahaha.

You know what I'd like to see? A competition between already-existing choirs. "Real" choirs. Doing "real" choral music. Then again, I watch the Drum Corps finals on PBS every year.

And then it was the big moment. And the winner is ......... Team Lachey. The End. Thank God.

bridgett, feel free to chime in!


bridgett said...

OMG! Have we been separated at birth or something? I am all about DCI finals, to the utter mystification of the rest of my house -- I make popcorn and everything.

Yes, choir ennui was all over last night's show. My husband also groaned when he realized it was going to be a two-hour extravangaza and my kid just went upstairs to get a pillow. I kept hoping they'd do something neat like Coolio's Gangsta's Paradise (which is totally made for a choral arrangement), but no dice. Hostess dress was pretty in a "they want me to cover up my disturbing collarbones and get a little drapey softness going because the audience has noticed that I'm disturbingly thin" way. I was hoping that Blake and Maria would find a coatroom or something and just get it on already to spare the rest of us the flirtiness. We get it -- you're hot for him and he's not too choosy, so that should work out ok.

If you'd watched the whole thing, you were punished by having to view the bio clips again -- because, you know, you might have booty-shorts and high boot induced short-term memory damage or something and have forgotten about the dude with the pink scarf. So that was dull. Get to the damn singing already.

Less with the Michael Bolton. Less with the Kelly Rowland (why didn't she do one of her solo songs rather than a 6-year-old Destiny's Child thing? She's got a couple of singles in the charts right now.

What a Wonderful World -- nice, if a little on the Manhattan Transfer side. Note that they started a capella and then had the band come in AND THEY WERE STILL IN TUNE! Schweet!

Hubris moment -- when LaBelle's team sung We are the Champions and then came in second. Man, she looked pissed.

Rockycat said...

Go Team DCI! But what pisses me off is they don't even show the whole performances any more, just parts. Back in the Stone Age when I first started watching the DCI finals, it aired for six hours! Now it's down to two (in my market, anyway). But you still gotta love old "Reliable" Rondonaro.

Thanks so much for your great commentary, bridgett!