Facebook Etiquette

So!  Over the past few days, a couple of sticky situations have arisen on my Facebook page.

First off, no, believe me, you ain't missin' nothing.  About the only thing I ever post there is pics of whichever foster kittens I'm tending at the time, to try to stir up interest in their adoptions.  I also link to stuff on local rescues' sites, blah blah blah, all kittens all the time.

It's like the Crazy Cat Lady's Facebook page.

But!  Over the weekend, my boss (yes, that boss, the racist one) sent me a friend request.

Umm ... When your boss wants to "friend" you on Facebook, is there really any way to say no?

yeah, I didn't think so.

And besides, like I said, all I ever post there is kitten pics, so who cares, right?

But!  I also received another friend request, from a guy who is "friends" with the woman who runs the rescue for which I volunteer.  He sometimes posts kitten pics, blah blah blah, on the rescue's page, so I thought, oh, okay, and accepted the request.

But then I went and checked out his page, and he's this hard-core right-wing nutbag.  Like, posting really obnoxious crap complaining about ... well, about stuff that right-wing a**holes complain about.  Welfare, "Unamericans", the whole nine yards.

Jeez.

So, I adjusted my settings so that his crap won't show up in my feed.  Problem solved!

Except now, he has started commenting on some of the stuff I put up. See again:  All kittens, all the time, and all he's commenting is stuff like, "Cute kittens!" or "It must be fun fostering!", but now that I know his politics, I'm just, like, all ... ick.

So I'm just "liking" his comments, without commenting back, and I don't really feel like I should unfriend him, because he's involved with the rescue, but


*sigh*

Facebook.  It's complicated.

Stuff I've felt like putting on Facebook lately

Yeah, I don't think I'm temperamentally cut out for social media.  So don't even ask me what I'm doing on Blogger.  Ha.

I do not understand Bloglandia

Amalah put up a post about her little boys' socks and got 72 comments.  So far.

Crappy Pictures put up a post about teeth brushing and got 148 comments.

And don't even get me started with Pioneer Woman.  A poem about her CAT?  238 comments.

Don't get me wrong; I'm not jealous.  I'm more ... incredulous.

I read some of the popular bloggers.  I enjoy some of them.  But the idea that seventy-two commenters felt a need to chime into a conversation about kids' socks?

I don't understand Bloglandia.  I guess I never will.

What the (&*$ is THAT #$&!?

So!  In the comments on the last post, Birdie and Kate stated their love for Whoppers.  So out of scientific curiosity, I decided to TRY a Whopper. It seemed that I remembered from my childhood that Whoppers were similar to Milk Duds, the most disgusting candy known to man, but maybe I was wrong.  I mean, after all, they were still being sold in stores, right?

*crunch*
Oh HELL no. Holy *&@#, Whoppers are NASTY. Crappy-ass chocolate on the outside, and some kind of rock-hard styrofoam on the inside. What the (^$)*?!  Why would anyone voluntarily EAT that?!  You could break a TOOTH on that crap!  (And having already spent an hour and a half in the dentist's chair this morning, I am NOT INCLINED to break any teeth right now, thankyouverymuch.)

Someone who hates children invented Whoppers. That's the only explanation.  They're like a bad joke.  Like nightmare candy.  All those trick-or-treaters last night were RIGHT!  I'm lucky my house didn't get egged, after trying to hand out Whoppers.  Holy CRAP.

I'm currently doing an experiment to see how long a Whopper will float in my coffee. It's five minutes so far. That's just not right.  You can't even DROWN the damn things.  They're like (*&ing ZOMBIES or something.

But Birdie and Kate, don't feel too bad. I think candy corn is disgusting as well. And don't even get me started on black licorice. *shudder*

What Blogland has taught me

1. People will sell out for an amazingly small amount of money and/or fame.

2. There are a lot of drama queens out there. A LOT.

3. See also: Hypochondriacs.  Holy macaroni.

4. People are often not what they seem.

5. There are an awful lot of bloggers who think they can write a book. Well, sure, they can write it, but will it be any good? Results vary, here.

6.  There are entire sites dedicated to ripping apart other sites.  (Yes, I KNOW I did a post about Dooce's divorce.  It was ONE POST, people, not an entire website.)  So be aware that whatever you put out there, someone may mock it or laugh at it or tear into it.  Publicly.  It's all fair game in blogland.  (See:  My Dooce post, which is STILL getting vicious comments. *sigh*)

7.  There are some amazingly talented bloggers out there.  People whose blogs put my little blog to shame.  Does that mean I'm gonna stop writing?  HELL NO.

How about you?  Anything you've learned in the mighty Land of Blog?  Oh!  And I could use a little help, here.  I'm always looking for new stuff to read, so if you know of a really great blog, including your own, feel free to pimp it in the comments.  A favorite recent find of mine is Simian Idiot.  How about you - Are you reading (or writing) any good stuff?  Enquiring minds want to know.

Oh, great, now I'm getting slammed on facebook ...

... and on the Fourth of July, no less!

Okay, so an acquaintance of mine posts little sayings her vitamin store sends her on facebook all the time. And today's was, "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has it's limits."

And at FIRST I was all, it's a joke, right? It's gotta be a joke, writing about genius and putting that apostrophe in the "its".

But it just sat there, and sat there, and I couldn't resist myself, so I commented, "I don't think genius would've put that apostrophe in the "its", though ... "

and some chick who I don't know from Adam commented, "Wow, Rocky ... bitter person much?"

*---*

Whaaaaaaat? This is why I've gotta stay the f*ck off facebook.

Now scroll down, for lots of random stuff. Yippee!

Dooce is getting a divorce. And I'm glad.

Because evidently I'm a spiteful, jealous person.

Look, I used to really like Dooce. She was one of the first bloggers I read regularly. And then she got famous. And rich.

And instead of blogging about her day-to-day life and the random shit we all deal with, she was blogging about flying to New York! to sign a book deal! And going to Africa with supermodels! And buying a new humongous house! And she was showing photos of her fabulous new furniture! And her incredibly, unbelievably expensive wallpaper!

And I couldn't relate. It wasn't even interesting to me, because if I suddenly got famous and rich I would do things differently than she. Humongous houses and wallpaper so expensive it might as well be made out of hummingbird wings are just not what trips my trigger.

The same thing happened with Pioneer Woman. I used to read her every day, until she got famous and rich and became One Of Them. Instead of one of us ... er ... me.

And so when Dooce, who has blogged extensively about how her husband is the greatest man ever in the history of the world, and about how she loves him SO MUCH, and about how if your marriage hits a rough patch, you just need to go for counseling and everything will be ALL BETTER, God, didn't you already know that? - when she announced that she and hubs were splitting up ... I was glad.

Because she is One Of Them. And I am not. Schadenfreude, baby. Sometimes it just feels damn good. And if that makes me a bad person, well, so be it. I never claimed to be Mother Teresa.

I don't know why I let blogworld get to me like this

A while back, I wrote about a fairly popular blogger who begged for money on her blog (nothing wrong with that, I guess, if you've got the balls to do it), and THEN she wrote about how she spent a bunch of money on bullshit (nothing wrong with THAT, either, unless you want to piss off a bunch of people who believed you when you said you needed money to pay your mortgage).

I'm not going to give the name of the blog here, because I don't think she needs any more attention, but let's just say that it rhymes with "my, my, my", and leave it at that. (Oh, and email me if you can't figure it out.)

So, after the whole give-me-money-so-I-can-buy-garden-gnomes thing, I almost stopped reading her. But I didn't.

A few months ago, she got a couple of kittens. Because God knows that when you're broke as a joke, adding more pets to the household is always a good idea. So she got the kittens. And then, a few days ago, she writes about hearing a ruckus in the backyard. As it turns out, one of her now-grown kittens was out there impregnating a neighbor's cat.

Yep. She didn't have the cats neutered. And she let them go outside. And now there are going to be a bunch of unwanted kittens, who knows how many litters' worth, in her neighborhood.

And she thinks it's funny. She's writing about her cat "sexing up the neighborhood", about how he's looking for "hot chicks", like it's a f*cking joke.

That's it. I'm done. Bookmark deleted.

Some things aren't funny.

Comments I am DYING to leave

Okay, first off, this one blogger is looking for a nut-free, gluten-free snack. And I SO wanted to comment, "How about air? Or ... ummm... water?" Because I am ignorant and insensitive, OBV. And, dear readers, if you leave recipes in my comments? You are missing the point.

And then, this other blogger, who blogs ALL THE TIME about how batshit insane her family is, is talking about getting a nanny, except the nanny can never be alone with the baby, because, as she writes, "The baby can only be alone with family members."

and OHMYGOD I SO wanted to comment in, "Family members? You mean, YOUR family?"

this is why blogworld hates me.

Bloggers who drive me crazy

Okay, so I've been waffling on posting this for pretty much ever, because I'm worried that lately I've gotten a little, well .... extra-snarky. There's all kinds of bloggers out there vowing to be kinder and gentler on their blogs and ...... that's not me. So proceed with caution. But be advised that NONE OF YOU are on this list, so rest easy. And I'm specifically calling out peeps who are making good money and a degree of popularity off their blogs, not people doing it for grins and giggles in anonymity, like me. :)

Bloggers who drive me nuts:

1. Bloggers who only post once every couple of months or so, and then only to explain that they're taking a break. Honey, if you never post, you're not "taking a break". You're "no longer a blogger".

2. In similar vein to #1, bloggers who stop blogging, but then sporadically start up again, only to quit once more. You're in or you're out - make up your mind. I'm lookin' at you, Miss D*x*e.

3. Bloggers who get rich from their blog (yes I am jealous - very, very jealous) and then evidently decide that they're "too big to blog", because their post output drops precipitously. Hi, D**ce!

4. In a similar vein to #3, bloggers who exhaustively catalog their book tours/home renovations/major purchases, all of which are made possible by the people who read their blogs, or used to until the bragging got to be too damn grating. (I am jealous, okay? Don't make me read about your swag!)

5. Bloggers who do entire entries composed of nothing but dozens of photos of their basset hound, who hasn't moved an inch since the Bush administration. Holla, Pion**r W*m*n!

6. Bloggers who can't get over a bad experience. Dwelling never did anybody any good.

7. Bloggers who ask for money. I mean, if you have cancer or something, OF COURSE I will try to help you out, but if you're shilling for the two grand to fix Fido's *insert doggie medical condition here* ...... really? You don't have two grand? No offense, honey, but you're living waaaaaaay too close to the financial edge. That, or you don't want to fork over the two grand you were saving for that big-screen TV to instead save your dog's life.

8. Any blogger who uses bad clip-art. Blech. Sparkles and animation pretty much guarantee a "delete".

ha, so yeah, one of these days, an angry mob of people I've dissed on here is going to show up at my door with torches and pitchforks. And then I'll be on the local evening news.


How about you? Got any blogs that drive you crazy? (like this one?) Snark away in the comments!

Pulling a post

This morning, for the first time, I pulled a post.


It was written last March, and it was mostly a movie review, but I also mentioned the name of someone who had treated me shabbily in high school.


This past week, that person found the post.


And I got to thinking, anybody who googled his name could possibly find the post. What if it was someone to whom he had applied for a job? What if it was his minister? What if it was his mom?


The last thing I want to do is cause anybody pain, even if they treated me like a jerk back in the day. Bygones, eh?


And when I went to delete that post, I found another one calling people out by name. I pulled that one too.

RockyCat: Starting the new year fresh!

It's just the INTERNET, for chrissakes!

Evidently, some mommybloggers have got their tailfeathers all in a bustle about some other mommybloggers who get paid to endorse products and don't disclose the payments on their blogs. And the poor little mommybloggers got in such a twit that they are putting up buttons on their blogs stating that THEY, unlike certain other mommybloggers, "blog with integrity". There's evidently even a web site, blogwithintegrityDOTcom, which I refuse to link to, because I can't bring myself to click on it.

Seriously, peeps? I think these mommybloggers maybe have a leeeeetle too much time on their hands. Who gives a flying f*ck if somebody's getting paid to review a product? Who cares? It's the internet, for pete's sake! It's not like world peace is at stake.

Oh, and do not even get me started on the whole Blogher thing. Whoops, here I go: Blogher sounds like my worst nightmare. Several hundred women who can't hold their booze holed up in a hotel bitching about their PMS and showing off pictures of their ugly kids. You could not PAY me enough to attend that thing. And yet, some bloggers have been going on and on and on for MONTHS all about Blogher this and Blogher that and when I get to Blogher and blahblahblah ............ ummm, Blogher people? NOT EVERYONE IS GOING. You go, you have a mighty fine time, go ahead and puke in the hotel toilet because the last time you had more than one glass of wine was in 1997, but PLEASE give the rest of us a break. WE DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT. And if you come back from Blogher and post a bunch of pictures of hugging Blogher mommybloggers on your web site, I will never read your blog again.

There. I feel better now.

Blog Etiquette

Or would that be, "bletiquette"?

Anyway, I was reading someone's (honestly, I don't remember whose) blog the other day, and she was talking about people who read her blog but never comment.

Oh! And let me say first off, I was FUH-REAKED OUT when I first discovered that you could put a thing on your blog that would tell you who was reading it, and when, and for how long, etc., etc. Because sometimes I will click on a blog, and the phone will ring, and a client will come in, and the computer will go to screensaver, and I'll come back, like, two hours later and still be on that blog. And now I'm all, like, "Oh my God! These people think I'm insane! They think I've been reading their blog for, like, two hours!"

And also, sometimes if I get really really bored, I'll start clicking on random blogs over and over, just to see if anybody's updated in the last, oh, half-hour or so.

So when I found out that PEOPLE KNEW WHEN I WAS READING THEIR BLOG, I was all, "Great. Just great. Now they think I'm an insane stalker who reads their blog for HOURS and checks back nine million times a day."

But! Well! Okay, back to the bletiquette thing. I'm relatively new here, and obv I still don't know all the rules, because I had NO IDEA that if you read someone's blog, commenting was mandatory. I thought you could just read along, la la la, and if a post really spoke to you, or if you had something of value to add, then you could comment, but it was strictly optional.

And while I do comment on some of the blogs I read (hi, guys!), I don't comment on all of them. I don't think I do, anyway. Actually, it never even occurred to me to keep track, until now. And I almost never comment on the really popular blogs, like Dooce, unless they're running a contest or something, because honestly? Comment #853? Who cares?

Oh! And also! Having you ever been reading a blog, and the blogger will post a pic of, oh, I don't know, their butt-ugly nephew or something, and you want SO BAD to comment something along the lines of, "That's the ugliest damn kid I ever saw! What did your sister do, mate with a freakin' MONKEY or something?!" No? That's just me? Okay, then. Moving on ........



Or what about when someone is making a reallllly bad decision (I can claim my fair share of those, believe you me) and all of their bloggy commenters are supporting them, and you just want to comment, "Nooooooooo! Don't listen to them! They're idiots!" But you don't, because you know that all of those other commenters will turn around and shoot you down in hot hot flames. Folks, believe me, if you see me about to commit a grievous error (and like I said, IT HAS BEEN KNOWN TO HAPPEN), please let me know.


So! Well! Okay! Running out of steam, and time, here. So I guess here's my bletiquette question for the day: If you read a blog, are you SUPPOSED to comment on it? Or is it optional? And how often are you supposed to comment? Every time you stop by? Or just once in a while?


Oh, and for the record, I do not have one of those site meter thingies here. Frankly, I don't want to know who's coming here, and why, and how many times a day, and for how long, and which search terms they used to get here. Even though this is my personal blog, I somehow oddly feel like it's none of my business if you're stopping by, and so I'd just as soon not know. Ignorance is bliss, and all that.