Seen on Craigslist

This ad was in the "Pets" section of my local Craigslist.  Spelling errors are the author's, not mine.

Children - free to good home!!!

*************This is not a real post**********

HELP NEEDED ASAP: Please help!!!! After two long years of being on a waiting list for a dog, we have been notified by the breeder that, at long last, our number has come up and ... WE ARE HAVING A PUPPY!!!
 

I must get rid of my children IMMEDIATELY because we just know how time consuming our new little puppy is going to be and it just wouldn't be fair to my children. Since our little puppy will be arriving on Monday we MUST place the children into rescue this weekend! They are described as:

One male - His name is Dustin, Caucasian (English/Irish mix), light blonde hair, blue eyes. Thirteen years old. Excellent disposition. He doesn't bite. Temperament tested. Does have problems with peeing directly in the toilet. Has had chicken Pox and is current on all shots. Tonsils have already been removed. Dustin eats everything, is very clean, house trained; gets along well with others. He does have a little problem with listening in school.........and he might have to go to summer school BUT only a couple of weeks and then you'll have the rest of the summer to play.(to late for that) He went still has a little problem listening but I'm sure if you give it some time he'll come around. Well guess what summerschool came and no change ...so it's all up to you, just give it a year or two.


One female - Her name is Katelyn, Caucasian (English/Irish mix), strawberry blonde hair, green eyes quite freckled.,six years old.. Non-biter, thumb sucker. Has been temperament tested but needs a little attitude adjusting occasionally. She is current on all shots, tonsils out, and is very healthy; can be affectionate. Gets along well with other little girls & little boys but does not like to share her toys and therefore would do best in a one child household. She is a very quick learner and is currently working on her house training-shouldn't take long at all.

I really do LOVE my children and want to do what's right for them; that is why we contacted you.. But I simply can no longer keep them. Also, I am afraid that they may hurt my new puppy. (and of course the puppy comes first) and besides the dog might have allergies to the children, I'm moving and where I'm going to they don't allow children.(can you imagine that)

I hope you understand that ours is a UNIQUE situation and I have a real emergency here!!! They MUST be placed by Sunday night at the latest or I will be forced to drop them off at the orphanage or along some dark, country road. Our priority now has to be our new puppy.
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O MY I forgot I didn't think they would get this big!!!!!

p.s. hi mom!! love you :) 

 

 

 

 

 

RockyCat here:  In case you're not a regular Craigslist Pets section reader, this post basically nails all of the "rehoming" ads.  The animals have to go TODAY, the kids are allergic, she's moving and can't take the animals, etc.  I think the only one she missed was, "I'm pregnant and I can't clean the litterbox."  Classic!