Thursday, May 05, 2011

Okay, so let's talk about American Idol

... seeing as how nobody wants to talk about Survivor. FINE.

I've gotta try to squish this in here, 'cause I think tonight somebody gets voted off Idol, which means if I let this sit here until tomorrow, it will no longer be relevant, but then again, is American Idol ever really "relevant"?


Again, as with Survivor, I'm not paying much attention this season, so I'm not really sure who's left on Idol at this point.

There's the squinty dude, who has a pretty good range, but dude, lose the squint! I mean, I guess he's got, like, Tourette's or something, which makes me wish he'd let loose with some f-bombs in the middle of a song, but seriously, that squint is unnerving. It makes me wonder what the kids would look like if he and Renee Zellwegger got married.

Okay, and there's the big black dude who is evidently channeling Pee-Wee Herman. Trying to live in the group home with THAT dude must be a serious ass-ache. I'll bet it's all drama, all the time with THAT guy.

Who else? Oh yeah - country dude! Why is he still there? I'm pretty sure he's been singing the same damn song, week after week. And that haircut? Horrible. I will guarantee RIGHT NOW that he's gonna be selling cars by the time he's, like, twenty-five.

Okay, now who's that girl - the gravel voiced one? She's actually pretty good, if she'd just stop trying to growwwwwwwwl her way through every damn song. Even Janis only broke that out once in a while, honey.

So ... that's four. And there's five left, right? Who am I missing? Who's going home tonight? Do I care? Um ... no. I predict squinty dude. Although it could be gravel girl, because evidently the masses of teenage girls who comprise the main voting bloc of this show tend to oust their own. Whatever happened to girl power? Sheesh.


Fish Food said...

Renee Z's kids, no matter with whom she has them, are going to be dough-coloured, balloon faced, strange-looking kids.

Let's be straight here.

rockygrace said...

Yeah ... I never really understood the appeal there.