Monday, May 09, 2011

Carriage bolt? What the hell is a carriage bolt?

First off: Catnip. I don't know WHY I didn't think of it before, seeing as how the house is chock-full of catnip toys, including some that BNG gifted us with. On Friday night I busted out the loose catnip, and Little Girl had a party. She even did the paper-plate-on-the-head trick, for which The Runt was justifiably famous.

Yesterday I went out to mow. And I pulled that pull cord and pulled and pulled and PULLED, and that Christless no-good motherf*cking piece-of-shit of a lawn mower WOULD. NOT. START.

I THOUGHT we had an agreement. Evidently the terms of the contract were voided without my knowledge.

So I went to Lowe's and bought a new lawn mower. One with an ELECTRIC start.

And I got it home and wrestled the elephant-sized box out of the back of the car and started putting it together. Which ... why do they call it a carriage bolt? Why can't they call it, "that doohickey that connects the bottom handle to the top handle"? It would have made my afternoon much easier.

So! The mower got assembled. I'm ready to mow! Which is when I discover that the electric start has to charge for eight to ten HOURS before using.


Well, I know what I'm doing after work tonight.



LL Cool Joe said...

Ha ha, yeah I've been there too! Good luck with the grass cutting!

rockygrace said...

LLCJ, I'm glad I'm not the only one. I'm convinced that lawn mower designers are sadistic jerks.