So! I haven't been paying attention to ... well ... much of anything recently, really, but I thought maybe they were gonna have the first ever Survivor fatality last night after a contest involving running stairs in a-hundred-and-ten-degree heat.
Poor Rob! He won, but then he starts wobbling all over the platform and his voice went up about two octaves and he asked two of the other contestants to hold him up, and I'm, like, holy CRAP, this dude's about to bite it, but then I'm like, nah, if he had actually croaked, they would've dragged it out into at LEAST a three-hour special, with all kinds of promos about "a very special episode of Survivor", so then I was okay to watch the rest, 'cause I knew he was gonna make it.
But! You know who I really want to win? That blond religious dude. Matt? Is that his name? That poor bastard's spent the entire show on Exile Island or whatever the hell they're calling it this season. He deserves to win.
Oh! And I was kind of surprised when the other religious dude, the dark-haired guy, said something last night along the lines of "God wants me to win."
Dude? Okay, two things:
A. There is no God.
B. If there was a God, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't give a shit about Survivor.
That's what kills me about religious people. They always presume to know what God wants. Shit, maybe all God wants is a beer and a joint, okay?
One other thing I noticed during last night's show - When it was time for their significant others to show up for a tearful reunion, the "others" didn't really seem all that "significant".
I mean, there were no girlfriends or wives or boyfriend or husbands. It was all, like, moms and sisters and, in one case, a brother-in-law. And I was all, Dude! That's the best you could do? Your brother-in-law?
Okay, I mean, I can get how people would be reluctant to make the trip. I'm assuming it's a pretty long flight, and the contestants only have eight days left anyway, but still, I would have thought at least one hubby or wife would have shown up. I mean, I know Rob's married, because he met his wife on the damn SHOW, which is both awesome and cringe-worthy. Then again, I get how his wife, Amber, has maybe had enough of bug-infested, hot-as-hell tropical islands.
Oh! And I totally understand why Phillip is still there, strategy-wise, but seriously? Dude's gotta go.
So! I was going to talk about American Idol now, but this has already gone on way too long. Coming soon: Why is that country dude still on the show? And also: Little Girl decides I'm not so bad.