Thursday, August 27, 2009

I guess this is it.

Lord willing and the creek don't rise, tomorrow I finally, officially move to the new house. And in honor of the occasion, I thought I'd make some lists. Lame, I know. Sorry.

Things I will not miss about the old apartment:

1. The kitchen sink faucet, which delivers either freezing cold or boiling hot water, but nothing in between.

2. The bathtub drain, which does not (drain, that is).

3. The flippin' street festival held on the street in front of the building every year, blocking my access to my apartment for two days.

4. The lamp-stealing thief downstairs.

5. The Pakistani terrorist tenant in the apartment next to mine, who hoots at the most disconcerting times. (Did I ever tell you guys about that? If not, remind me. Kthx.)

6. The lack of covered parking - I've got a garage now, bitches!

7. Hearing other tenants loudly fight/have loud make-up sex.

8. The goddam f*cking bass from loud stereos. I swear, there were times I thought I would lose my mind if I had to listen to THUMPA THUMPA THUMPA for one more minute.

9. The plumber (and I use that term loosely) who ripped up my bathroom floor last October and never returned to fix it.

10. The tree fort, side-slider windows which let the wind blow freely through the frames.

11. Hearing traffic from the two nearby highways.

12. The moronic tenants who were too f*cking lazy to put their garbage bags in the garbage cans, instead leaving the bags next to their doors or on the ground next to the cans for days at a time, thus ensuring that every creature in the neighborhood got a shot at ripping the bags open and strewing the garbage around.

Okay, okay, let's be fair here ...... now for a list of Things I WILL Miss About the Old Aparment:

1. The tiled bathroom with a window right in the shower.

2. Hans across the street, who would come to my rescue and plow the driveway when the landlord's hired guy didn't show, which was most of the time.

3. The flippin' street festival. Yeah, I guess I'll kind of miss it after all.

4. The back deck, and the view of my neighbor's enormous pine tree.

I can't tell you how many hours I spent on that deck, reading the paper and listening to the radio and looking at that tree.

So! Onward and upward. See you next week, after the cats and I have gotten settled in to the new place.


kitkat said...

It does seem like a lovely view, but it looks like the thing you won't miss definitely outnumber the things you will, so clearly you've made a good choice. Now you have me wondering about the street festival...

FART!! said...

I wish you good luck and much happiness in your new house! You have a lovely new garden so although the neighbour's tree is nice, so's your new garden!

Happy new house to you!

kitkat said...

I hope your first weekend in the new house was a good one!