The Itchy and Scratchy Show

My boss and one of the CAD guys have been having a violent argument all day about the design of a particular project. They yell and shout and toss around the F-bomb, get calmed down, and then start up all over again. This is not unusual for these two. All I can think of is the theme song from "The Itchy and Scratchy Show", which goes something like this:

They fight
and fight
and fight and fight and fight
fightfightfight
fightfightfight
The Itchy and Scratchy Show!

At least it's Friday.

On Second Thought .......

I was going to write about how my boss, on rare occasions, has been able to make me cry actual tears of anger, but he just informed me that he's giving me a raise.

Thanks, boss!

Ewwww ..... Gross

There is a dead squirrel in my backyard. I discovered him (or her) last night. He (or she) looks very peaceful, just lying on the ground, dead. Now I have to figure out what to do with the body.

I considered just leaving it there, but the thought of coming across it again in upcoming days, when it has started to decompose, is not very pleasant. And I don't want to have to touch it (yuck! squirrel cooties!) to move it. So I thought I could scoop it up with a shovel and put it ..... where? I thought about just nudging over a few feet into my neighbor's yard, but that hardly seems fair. And it hasn't rained here for several days, so the ground is as hard as a rock, and not conducive to grave-digging. I suppose I could push it into a plastic bag and put it in the garbage, but the thought of that squirrel corpse in the bottom of a garbage can for the week until the next pick-up is skeeving me out. I suppose I could carry it (in the shovel, of course), out to the road and leave it by the side to join its many car-squashed brethren, which the local highway department disposes of.

Sigh. Why do I always have to make such a big deal out of everything? And does anybody have any squirrel-disposal ideas?

My Hare-Brained Scheme Comes To Fruition

So, Saturday was my first time showing my photographs at a craft show. I am not really a craft show-type person, but I really wanted to see if my photos would sell. It was a beautiful day, sunny and warm, and I met lots of nice people. The vendors around me were very friendly and helpful when they found out it was my first show - they even let out a cheer when I made my first sale. I was amazed at how many shoppers wanted to talk (and talk, and TALK) - lots of people said the photos reminded them of gardens they used to have, or of their relatives' gardens. And a lot of older women wanted to talk about their dead husbands, which was kind of weird, but I can sympathize - I think they just need someone to listen, and I was a captive audience.

The most popular questions were "Did you take these pictures?" (yes), and "Are these your flowers?" (yes). Lots of people commented on how pretty the pictures were. I only made $55.00 (if they're such pretty pictures, BUY THEM, PEOPLE, (ha ha, just kidding, NOT)), but I realized that it makes me really happy to think that my pictures are hanging in other people's houses. I know that sounds weird, but it's cool to me.

Here's my car, loaded up and ready to go. (Oh, and one of the best parts of the day? Stopping at Dunkin' Donuts on the way to pick up a Boston Creme and a Strawberry Frosted. Yummmmm, donuts.)


Here's my table, ready to rock:


Here's the craft show itself. It was pretty small, only twenty tables, and there were not a lot of customers for a good part of the day. I'm wondering if I might do better at a larger show.



The local high school marching band came by to entertain us:



And they brought the color guard:

Can you believe the hair on that girl on the right? Can you imagine what it must look like when it's not in a ponytail? I wish I had hair like that. (And yes, I realize that these are not very good photos, coming from a person who is trying to SELL HER PHOTOS).

So, all in all, a good day. I tried something I had never done before and lived. Imagine that!

Gimme Money

A while back, I wrote about my latest hare-brained scheme for making money. It's not that I'm broke, it's just that if I am ever going to buy a house, I need to save up a downpayment. SO! Tomorrow my plan goes into action.

Let's just say that it involves a couple of tables set up like this:

And a local town's Fall Festival. It's this, or hire Sally Struthers to shill for me on TV. Wish me luck!

Uh-Oh

CaaaaaaaaaRaaaaaaaaahhMEEEEEEEEEaaaaaaaaaahhh..........

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.........

Product Review - Buffalo Bills

The Bills suck. Again. Moments of brilliance, followed by punts. Because they are PHYSICALLY UNABLE TO MOVE THE BALL DOWN THE FIELD.

News flash, Bills. In order to get a first down, you need only advance the football ten yards. And you get FOUR TRIES TO DO IT. SO DO IT ALREADY, WILL YOU???

Christ.

Oh, and by the way? When you get within ten yards of the end zone, IT WOULD BE NICE IF YOU COULD ACTUALLY SCORE A TOUCHDOWN ONCE IN A WHILE. I'm just sayin'.

I Am Currently Testing the Theory ......

....... of whether one can actually die of boredom. Seriously, it's been a slow week here at the office, and right now, time seems to be slowing down to the point that soon it will actually be running backward.

Also, the song "Cara Mia" by the Indigo Girls has been running through my brain repeatedly for the last couple of hours. Now, I really like this song, but the only parts I know are the words "Cara Mia", the melody of the first couple lines, the words "Harriet the Spy", and the melody for the beginning of the chorus. Because I'm lame. So here's what keeps going through my head, approximately every five minutes:

CaaaaaaRaaaaahMEEEEEEEaaaahh, hum hum hum hum hum hum hum, ...... Harriet the Spy ...., la la la la LA la ............

Repeat every few minutes.

Gah.

Seventy minutes to go.

Guess What This Entry Is About?! C'mon, Guess!

Rocky came home from the vet's last night. He was pretty disheveled and obviously out of sorts and in pain, but he ate lots of (moist, soft, watered down) food and drank plenty of water, checked out the backyard to make sure it was still there, and then slept through until this morning. And this morning, he seemed to be feeling much better.

The vet sent me home with a big bag of meds. Gel stuff to rub on his teeth once a week to help keep tartar from forming (and I will give it the old college try, I promise), liquid arthritis medication to be given once a day(!), and liquid to put in his drinking water, again to help with the tartar situation. And of course, he's still on the liquid antibiotics twice a day. Just call me Nurse.

Final tally, including yearly check-up, vaccines, extensive blood testing, six months of flea meds, antibiotics, overnight hospitalization, sedation, teeth cleaning, tooth extraction, and arthritis and tooth meds (they threw in clipping his nails for free) - $616.49.

Rocky gaining weight (which he has already started to do) - Priceless.

Rocky Update

Yay! Rocky's out of the anesthesia and alert. The vet had to pull the one tooth, and discovered that others had been "resorbed". As explained to me, this means that Rocky's immune system, for whatever reason, "went after" some of his teeth and weakened them to the point that they broke off. The gums closed over the base of the teeth, and they calcified into part of the jaw. I had certainly never ever heard of this before, but the vet assured me that it was quite common in older cats. Live and learn!

I will call the vet's office in a little while to see if Rocky can come home tonight. He has to go back in a couple of weeks to make sure he is continuing to gain weight. Here's hoping!

Waiting ........

Rocky is at the vet's today getting his teeth cleaned. When I dropped him off last night, the vet doing the "intake exam" discovered that one of his big top canine teeth had fractured right off at the base! Poor cat! He lost his other top canine tooth years ago (I have no idea how it happened), and now, here goes the other one.

And of course, I felt like an axe murderer because he had a broken tooth, must have been in a lot of pain, and I never even noticed! Gah, I'm awful! Although, in my defense, Rocky does not like to have his mouth poked around in (does any cat?), so it's not like I could examine his teeth on a regular basis. (I know, I KNOW that you're supposed to brush your cat's teeth. And believe me, I tried. It did not work out. That's why I feed him special "dental diet" cat food.) The only reason I knew the other tooth was missing was because you could see the space when he yawned.

So poor Rocky is at the vet's, getting one tooth pulled and the others cleaned, and he has NO IDEA why all of this is happening to him. And he will wake up all groggy from the anesthetic in a strange cage with strange cats in other cages all around him, and no idea what will happen next. I don't even like to think about it. I keep trying to reassure myself that it had to be done, but still.

So now I am waiting for a call from the vet's, to let me know how everything went, and to find out if he can come home tonight or will have to stay over another night. I HATE waiting for the phone to ring - aaaaaaaaggggghhhhh!

Pull it together, kid.

Movie Review - "For Your Consideration"

I wanted to like this movie. I also wanted to like director Christopher Guest's other movies, "Waiting for Guffman", "Best in Show", and "A Mighty Wind." Unfortunately, none of these movies is as funny as the people involved with them think they are.

"For Your Consideration" is basically a send-up of Hollywood, centering around Oscar buzz for a small, independent movie. As in Guest's other films, the actors mainly improvise their roles. The actors are obviously having a grand time, but I just didn't find the characters and situations funny. Maybe it's just me, but I just didn't enjoy it.

Goodness knows the people Guest picks on are certainly easy targets - Small-town actors (Waiting for Guffman), dog-show fanatics (Best in Show), folk singers (A Mighty Wind), and Hollywood (For Your Consideration). I can't think of any easier target, except maybe Scientologists. Which make his failure to deliver a funny film even more disappointing.

So I didn't enjoy this one, even though I wanted to. Again, maybe it's just me. Did anybody else see this one and like it?

Jesus Saves

When I was a little kid, there was a church in town with a great big neon "JESUS SAVES" sign on the side of the building. For the longest time, I thought that the building was a bank, and the sign was an advertisement. As in, "Jesus saves .......... at First Federal Savings and Loan".

Duh.

Random Office Yuck

The boss just went into the bathroom, took a whiz, and flushed the toilet. All while talking to a client on his cell phone. If I was that client, I would have hung up the phone, then cancelled my contract. Am I overreacting?

Hack 'Em Up Ed brings in leftovers for lunch. Which is fine, except when he microwaves his food, it smells just exactly like what I imagine roadkill would smell like if you heated it up. Also, the office refrigerator is really small, and Hack 'Em Up Ed keeps stashing stuff in there like entire bottles of ketchup. The other day, he placed an entire stick of butter in the fridge. Huh?

Not one of these guys washes his goddam hands after using the bathroom. I actually had to put a sign over the toilet, "Flush After Using", because otherwise they wouldn't. Although things are improving somewhat. We have had (male) employees in the past who would pee all over the bathroom floor. I used to wonder if they did that at home, too.

The boss has been bringing his pain-in-the-ass, whiny, UNHOUSEBROKEN dog into the office. And it is up to the guys to walk it, because the boss would rather slit his wrists than walk his own fucking dog. (And for the record, I WILL NOT WALK THE FUCKING DOG. I went through years of that with his last pain-in-the-ass dog, and I have made it crystal clear that my office dog-walking days are OVER. So there.)

Hack 'Em Up Ed announced the other day that his sixteen year old son is in EIGHTH GRADE. (Kids are usually thirteen or fourteen in eighth grade.) This kid is not learning-disabled, just lazy with an intense dislike of education. And Hack 'Em Up Ed seems kind of proud of this, saying stuff like, "Heck, I went to vocational school, and I turned out o.k.!" Um, Ed? Not really.

Sorry about that. Just some random grumblings.

Book Review - Les Miserables

Spoiler alert! If you are currently reading this book, or plan to read this book, do not scroll down any further! (Um, I know, I am probably the only person my age in the world who has not yet read this book, but, um, whatever.)






I really enjoyed this book, except for one thing - the ending. I mean, COME ON, Jean ValJean suffers his entire life and, in the end, DIES? Oh, HELL NO. He should have recovered from his illness, throttled Cosette and Marius, taken the money, and lived the rest of his life in some beautiful beach resort town. I mean, can't you just imagine Jean ValJean in a swimsuit, lounging on a beach chair, sipping a Mai Tai? Ha ha ha ha ha hahahahahaha.

Seriously, Jean Valjean should have lived long enough to at least enjoy himself FOR ONCE IN HIS DAMN LIFE, and Cosette and Marius should have died. Because they were twits.

The Young and the Restless

Today, for the first time in a while, I did not bother to tape The Young and the Restless so I could watch it when I got home. (And yes, I DO still have a VCR! It's right next to my eight-track tape player! (Ha, ha, of course I do not still have an eight-track-tape player. But, sadly, I do still have a VCR. And I really need a new TV, but I am putting off buying one, because the one I have I bought in (ahem) 1992, and I am sure that new technology ensures that if I buy a new TV, it will sit in the corner in its box, because I will take one try (duration - approximately five hours) at connecting it to the VCR/DVD/cable box and burst into tears. I'm funny that way.))

SO, I did not tape Y&R, because the show massively sucks lately. Here's a few of the reasons why:

1. Jill's fiance, Ji Min (and by the way, those two had zero chemistry), was found dead in a hotel room. With a crushed windpipe. And the preliminary police report indicates that the crushed windpipe was caused by ........ a fall. Oh, come on. How the hell do you fall and crush your windpipe? Of course, we all know that Jack had something to do with this, because it involves the ownership of Jabot, a plot line in which I lost interest many, many months ago. Come to think of it, maybe it involves the ownership of NVP. Got me.

2. The whole Amber/Kevin/Daniel/whoever else/stolen money plot line, which I never have been able to figure out. I know that this was Y&R's annual "Let's spotlight the younger actors during the summer, so that kids who are home from school will get sucked into watching" plotline, but still. And Amber just sets my teeth on edge.

3. The whole "Jenna's psychotic and evil" vs. "Poor Jenna has a brain tumor" thing. All I know is, a few months ago Jenna tried to kill Kevin and Colleen, and now it's true love for Kevin and Jenna. Huh?

4. First they replaced the actress who played Victoria, and now they replaced the actress who played Colleen. Which means that a good deal of the time when someone shows up on screen, I have no idea who they are supposed to be, and have to take my clues from the dialogue.

5. The character of Dru, one of the few I really enjoyed on the show, got knocked off due to a failure in contract negotiations with the actress who played her. And about five minutes after Dru's funeral, her whole family was basically done with mourning and had moved on with their lives.

6. The whole Niki-leaving-Victor-for-her-campaign-manager thing. Oh, please.

Whew! I do go on, don't I? Anyhow, I think I'll give ol' Y&R a break for a while and see if I can get a life.

Oh, and by the way, I am sure that many, many bloggers are doing meaningful, tear-inducing posts about 9/11 today. And here I am, going on and on and on about Y&R. (Oh, and the earlier oil change post! Let's not forget about the oil change post!) I'm shallow like that.

You Break It, You Bought It

I dropped off my car for an oil change this morning, and, as usual, BECAUSE IT"S A SATURN, something went wrong.

They called me from the garage and let me know that the oil filter housing cap broke as they were removing it. They had ordered another one, and it would be $26.00.

Hello? You broke the part removing it, and you want me to pay for it?

Am I the only one who does not think this is fair?

It's Not His Thyroid . . . .

The vet called Friday night with Rocky's blood test results. It's not his thyroid. It's not his liver. It's not his kidneys. It's his ..... teeth?

Turns out that Rocky has an infection in his blood, which the vet thinks is caused by some pretty severe tartar buildup. Now, I am mindful of Rocky's teeth. He will not let me brush them, but I do feed him special "dental diet" food, and the vet checks Rocky's teeth every year. For the past couple of years he had noticed some tartar buildup, but of course to clean a cat's teeth you have to anesthetize them, and vets are reluctant to do that with cats Rocky's age (15).

Well, it looks like things have come to a head. So on Saturday I ran out to the vet's office to pick up some antibiotics, and next Tuesday they will clean Rocky's teeth. The vet assured me that they would be very careful with the anesthetic, they would monitor him very closely, and I had no reason to fear.

Oh, and the antibiotics are in liquid form this time, as opposed to pills. And the liquid tastes absolutely horrible, as I can attest to from Saturday night, when Rocky shook his head while I was dosing him, giving me a big old dose myself right across the face. Yuck! Poor Rocky!

Climb Ev'ry Mountain (Or Not)

Last weekend, I went to Aqua Terra Park. First I walked around the pond. The trail is nice, but it is always, always, shoe-sucking-off muddy. It wasn't too bad this time, probably because it hasn't rained lately. There's a lot of other trails, too, but none of them are marked, and I always end up getting lost because I am directionally challenged (i.e., an idiot), so I stayed away from those on this particular visit.

Next, I got the bright idea to climb some of the old ski trails across the road (there used to be a ski resort there; you'd have to know this area to fully appreciate the ridiculousness of that particular idea). It turned out that climbing the trails wasn't the best idea I've had lately, because (a) I'm afraid of heights, and (b) hello, they're very, very, um, steep. I didn't embarrass myself as badly as the last time I was there, when I literally scooched my way back down a trail on my butt because I was too afraid to walk back down it (because it was steep), but still.

Anyhow, here's a pic of good ol "Lucky Hill", as it is called on the maps.

I know, it doesn't look that bad, but where the dirt road goes up the hill? It's practically straight up.

On the bright side, I did see some more kidwork:

They had built a diving board out over the pond. The pond where, supposedly, No Swimming is allowed. Stick it to The Man, kids!

Eight Days

It has now been eight days since I took Rocky to the vet, and I am STILLWAITING for the blood test results. WTF? Where the hell is the lab, Bolivia?

Rose of Sharon

All three Rose of Sharons are in bloom. The one above, which I was told would have blue blooms, actually turned out to have pinkish/purple blooms. The one which I was told would have red blooms, actually has white blooms. Go figure! And the third one is blooming with double pink blossoms. Very pretty. And I actually girded my loins and pruned them all back so they're not all scraggly next year. I hate to prune - I can't stand to cut off blossoms. But now I have two big vases of flowers upstairs, so it's all good.

The "tree" hydrangea in the garden has also decided to bloom. Yay! The oriental lily smells just like bubble gum - you can smell it all over the back yard. And when I was up at the lake last weekend, Alabama gave me a potted lily that she bought at Lowe's which has buds on it, but no blooms yet. I hope it hurries up - the first frost will be coming soon. (Sigh).

I have no idea why all this stuff waited so late to bloom, but I'm glad it's all blooming now.

Hurricane TIB Makes Landfall; Dozens Missing, Feared Dead

I was going to do a great big long post about TIB's latest temper tantrum, carried out in front of many people on Labor Day weekend.

I just don't have the heart for it. I just don't care anymore. Right now, if I could say one thing to her, it would be, "Blow it out your ass, you fucking bitch".

I'm mature like that.

Rocky

Rocky has been losing weight lately. He has always been a husky (fat) cat, and lately I could feel his hip bones when I petted him. So Thursday, we went to the vet.

The vet thinks Rocky may have a thyroid problem. If so, we have three options:

1. Daily medication for the rest of his life.

2. Surgery to remove the thyroid gland, followed by daily medication for the rest of his life.

3. Implantation of radium pellets into his thyroid, which would cure the problem, but would require total isolation for one month after the surgery, until he becomes non-radioactive. Um, that's not really an option, as far as I'm concerned.

We won't know anything until the blood test results come back, some time this week. And you should have seen the amount of blood they took out of that cat! Holy cow!

I am scared shitless right now. But also almost hoping that it is a thyroid problem, because at least that is treatable. (And the medication he would be taking would be the exact same medication they give people, albeit at a lesser dose.)

Look, I'm not stupid. (OK, some people would argue that point, but that's neither here nor there.) Rocky is 15 years old, and I know that he's not going to live forever. But I want his passing, when it comes, to be a peaceful one. I can't bear the thought of continued weight loss, spiraling health problems, and euthanasia. So while it sucks, at least the thyroid thing is treatable, right?

I don't feel so good right now. And neither does Rocky.