Friday, December 24, 2010

Notes from a Christmas Eve at the office

1. I could be asleep RIGHT NOW. *sob*

2. At least the commute was clear. Because NOBODY ELSE IS WORKING.

3. I passed a statie on the way in, parked on the side of the highway with his radar gun. Merry Christmas - here's a speeding ticket, motherf*cker!

4. I got here promptly at eight a.m., despite what may or may not be a hangover from the Christmas-Eve-Eve imbibing. My boss, who INSISTED I be here this morning, will wander in around ten-thirty*, and then promptly leave again to finish his Christmas shopping. Trust me on this one.

5. Oh! Oh! The office Christmas luncheon yesterday! Dear co-workers: If your boss is nice enough to take you to a mid-level restaurant for lunch, for the love of CHRIST wear something other than ratty flannel shirts and baggy-ass jeans. You looked like a bunch of FARMHANDS. Or crackheads.

6. Continuing on with the luncheon: I am happy with myself. When the boss made some weird comment about being proud that all HIS employees (all three of us) owned their own homes, I resisted the urge to say something like, "If I own my own home, it's IN SPITE of what I earn here, not BECAUSE of it, dipshit."

7. We did our Secret-Santa exchange yesterday. Anybody want a - wait, let me check the box - "ScentSationals Fragrance Hearth Wax Warmer (Not a Scentsy Product)"? It's free!

8. On the other hand, my boss DID come through with a hefty bonus for me. Which goes a long way toward explaining why I'm sitting here RIGHT NOW.

9. I hope some other bloggers are posting today, 'cause I've got a lot of time to kill, here. Get to work!

10. Stay tuned for Very Special Christmas Edition of Freaky Friday, coming soon!

11. I could be sleeping. RIGHT NOW.

*Better make that eleven. Or noon.


Fish Food said...

Congratulations on the bonus!!! Too bad you're at work, but you can't have much longer to go now!!!

The alternative is grappling with giblets...

Merry Christmas!

rockygrace said...

Merry Christmas to you as well!

rockygrace said...

Oh, and hahaha you guys, it's now eleven-thirty and the boss is, as predicted, out Christmas shopping, and the phone just rang and I checked the caller ID and it was this total pain-in-the-ass client and so I let it go straight to voice mail. Because I'll be damned if I'll get yelled at by some asshole client on Christmas Eve.

Happy holidays!

Rob said...

Number 5 made me snort ... I sounded like a pig. Fortunately, no one heard me. Don't tell anyone, okay?

Happy Yuletide! (whatever that means, I'd better google it)