Friday, January 17, 2014


Okay, so today, let's talk about Facebook phonies.

You know who I'm talking about - those annoying friends of friends who somehow start showing up in your Facebook feed every five minutes, all, "Now I'm enjoying a pumpkin spice latte!"  "Now it's time to go work out!" "Now it's off to the post office!"

And you're all, like, ummmmmmmm, okaaaaaaaay, why is this person broadcasting her every breath?  And why doesn't she understand that pumpkin is so YESTERDAY?

Normally, once I get the gist of what the person is laying down, i.e., the endless minutiae of a bullsh*ttedly perfect life, I just block their feed.

But sometimes I can't, due to work or volunteer obligations, and so I just skim over the entries.  And it's always fun when you catch them in random acts of hypocrisy.

This one facebook acquaintance, for example, is a big wheel in one of the local animal rescues. She's always plastering her feed with all the do-good stuff she's accomplished that day.

And then a random "I heart Michael Vick!" pops up.

This same person wants EVERYONE to know that she SUPPORTS GAY RIGHTS, and GO RAINBOW, and IT GETS BETTER.

And then out pops a "Can't wait for the new season of Duck Dynasty!" slips out.

The truth will out, if you're bored enough to wade through five thousand pumpkin latte status updates.


bridgett said...

Now I'm feeling a little uneasy...I think I'm consistent (and that my happy is a real happy and not a "gee, look, FB people, I'm so HAPPY!) but you might perceive me as a total fakeroo. All dork, all the way down -- that's me.

rockygrace said...

Oh, bridgett, not at all! I love reading your updates.

You know what cracks me up? When I've been trying to get in touch with someone via traditional means, and they're all, "Oh, I've been so sick, I've been laid up for days," and then I go on Facebook and their posts are all, "Just got back from vacation!" "Had a great time on the slopes!", and I'm, all, BUSTED.