AP - According to eyewitnesses, the security barricade restricting access to the kitchen was breached at approximately 6:35 p.m. last night. The charge was led by Fluffy, who was followed by Tuffy and The Runt. Number Three was asleep at the time and was not directly involved in the escape.
Despite several frantic attempts by Evil Momma, the insurgents refused to be brought back into custody. After several more border crossings were noted, the barricade (poster board and duct tape) was removed by Teh Human, allowing unrestricted access to the kitchen.
The insurgents reported that there would be no further action, as their demands had been met.
At press time, the only identifying photograph available was that of Tuffy, aka Marty Feldman:
No charges will be filed.