Thursday, October 09, 2014
Oh holy sh*tballs, guys, you're not even going to BELIEVE this (now with updates)
So, I was at work this afternoon, sitting at my desk, typing info into spreadsheets, lalala, and I'm still kind of cheesed at my sister and also about some other stuff and my jaw was killing me because stress and my boss and a client were standing in front of my work area, at the (open) door to the outside, as the client was getting ready to leave.
And they're yakking away, blahblahblah, and I'm not really listening because
(a) They weren't talking to me, and
(b) boring whitemanspeak, no1curr, and the client is going on and on about a cousin of his who's having trouble with the IRS and the federal government and yadda yadda yadda and then
"I've got one thing to say about that," my boss says, laughing, to the client. "Isn't the n*gger wonderful?"
I sat there, my mouth hanging open, thinking, "Oh no he didn't oh no he didn't"
except he did.
I grabbed my purse and pushed past my boss, who was heading back into the office.
"Are you going somewhere?" he asked.
"Yes," I said. "I'm going home."
"Is there something wrong?" he asked.
"Yes," I said, "I feel SICK." and I left.
And now I have to decide if I really want to work for a man who has no problem calling a black man a n*gger. What. The. Actual. F*CK.
Anybody want to go to Mexico? Like, now? Spiffikins, it looks like my schedule is WIDE OPEN. :)
UPDATED TO ADD: My boss called me at home a couple of hours after I left the office and wanted to know what was going on. I explained that what I had overheard him tell the client offended me, to the point that I felt sick and had to leave. I said that I wasn't sure I wanted to work anymore for a man with such cavalierly racist attitudes. (I have known this man for many years. I knew that he had outdated, offensive views, and is an old white man seeing the world as he knows it change around him, but I also know that what he said upset me deeply. Would it have upset me as badly if I hadn't already had ten tons of sh*t piled on top of me in the past few days? I don't know.) He apologized profusely and said that he would never say such things in front of me again.
I just ... I don't know, guys. There is no world I want to live in, in which it is all right to call the President of the United States a n*gger (or any black man, as far as that goes), but I also know that small-minded people express small-minded attitudes, and Freedom of Speech and blah blah blah. And on my end, I don't know if being tolerant also has to include being tolerant of attitudes that make me want to scream. I do know that he will continue to be a racist, whether or not he expresses it in front of me. He apologized for saying something I overheard, not for being a damn racist in the first place.
Am I being oversensitive? Undersensitive? I DON'T KNOW. Will I go back to work tomorrow? Yes, since he apologized, repeatedly. Does that make me as bad as he is? Holy f*ck I do not know.
Come on, you guys, Mexico is looking better and better. Let's go!