Monday, September 13, 2010

Deal-breakers

So, I was watching "The Hangover"* over the weekend, which was an okay movie, until it got to what I call "the deal-breaker".

Namely, Mike Tyson.

There are certain people whom I will not watch. Not in a movie, not on a talk show, not in a cameo appearance, notnotnot. When they appear, I change the channel, 'cause they're deal-breakers for me. I'm not buyin' what they're sellin'.

Mike Tyson is one of them. Any man who beats the shit out of women is not someone I will allow to entertain me.

Oh, it's not just the wife-beaters. See also: Woody Allen (pedophile, in spirit if not technically), Mel Gibson (misogynistic anti-Semite), Tom Cruise (just too damn strange), and I'm sure I can think of a few others if you give me a minute ...

... Renee Zellwegger! I don't know what the hell is wrong with her face, but I'm not watchin' it. Jeezus.

How about you? Any deal-breakers?




*which, come on, that baby never needed a diaper change? Not even once? I'm not buyin' it.

19 comments:

downtown guy said...

Renee Zellwegger's looks like she does because she's something like half Sami (Laplander).

rockygrace said...

I did not know that, downtown!

(I was doing to add, "I wouldn't have picked on her if I did", but, nah. If you put yourself out there, you're fair game.)

downtown guy said...

yeah, I just thought it was interesting. It's one of those things where you find out and just go, oh, that makes so much sense.

Pickles and Dimes said...

I'm sure she is a lovely, lovely person and I have no reason to dislike her, but I cannot stand watching Gwyneth Paltrow.

Badass Nature Girl said...

Rachel Ray. I can't stand her voice, I can't stand her personality, I can't stand how she moves around. Oh, and that Guy Ferrari or whatever his last name is, on Food Network. Ya know, the one with the spikey white/blond hair? I get very angry when someone turns him on. Even if I'm in the next room and hear his voice, I turn all hulk-ish. "Me angry! Hulk smash!!!'

Fish Food said...

I am totally with you on the Mike Tyson thing.

TOTALLY REFUSE to watch Renee Zellwegger - don't care if she's half Siamese cat and half fat-pasty-white-unhealthy-does-she-ever-get-the-sun face - just not on. I also think she's totally interchangeable with Di Caprio who has the same face.

If slightly hairier.

But Renee Z is definitely one of my pet hates. She's like a lollipop, skinny all the way up and then this big full moon of a face.

Nah, nah, nah, nah!

rockygrace said...

Gwyneth Paltrow? Puke. Stop trying to tell me how to live my life, Gwyneth.

Oh, and I live in fear of stumbling across a Rachel Ray show, because if I should accidentally hear her say "sammie" one more time, I think I'd kill somebody. Namely, her.

and heck, Fish Food, tell us how you REALLY feel. hahahaha I love you. :)

Bridgett said...

Helena Bonham Carter. She used to be insipid and twee; now she's merely strange.

rockygrace said...

Isn't she married to someone equally strange? I can't think of who it is right now ...

Exador said...

tim burton. They have a kid together, but I'm not sure if they're married. They've been together for years.
Wierdos.

Anything with Susan Sarandon or Tim Robbins is out. And Barbara Streisand. Good God! Not even for a second.

And many many others

rockygrace said...

yeah, Ex, Streisand's just too damn full of herself to be watchable.

Oh! And William H. Macy and Steve Buscemi (sp?), because they're both so damn ugly all I can do is stare in horror and I forget to watch the movie. Buscemi, especially, needs to GET HIS DAMN TEETH FIXED ALREADY. That shit's just not right.

downtown guy said...

Seriously, though, what exactly do y'all watch? You're crossing off some of our better actors at this point, or at least better character actors, for their looks.

rockygrace said...

Good point, downtown, good point.

Okay, off the top of my head, I think John C. Reilly is an excellent (non-traditional-looking) actor. See also: Phillip Seymour Hoffman.

As far as actresses go, that's a little tougher, because you don't make it real far in Hollywood as a woman unless you're drop-dead gorgeous. I think Uma Thurman is one actress who's not traditionally "pretty" but I still love to watch.

Oh, and Gabourey Sidibe, the lead in "Precious", was absolutely mesmerizing.

I'm not saying that ugly people shouldn't act. I'm just saying that if you're so strange-looking or bizarre-acting that that's all I can think of when I see your performance, well ... I'll take a pass.

Okay! Anybody else wanna chime in?

Oh! Pee Wee Herman! He is strange-looking AND bizarre acting, and yet somehow he cracks me up. There goes my theory.

downtown guy said...

Still, no William H. Macy and Steve Buscemi basically means no Coen Brothers! And that's just a damn shame.

rockygrace said...

Meh, I can take or leave the Coen brothers.

*ducks*

downtown guy said...

Hey, different strokes.

Domestic Kate said...

Okay, I have to have Steve Buscemi, but I'm with you on Tom Cruise. I saw War of the Worlds, but I think that was the last one I'll ever see of his because of his weirdness. I also agree about Renee, and coincidentally, she's dating Bradley Cooper (from the Hangover). I shouldn't know that.

1. Jessica Simpson. Musician-turned-actress? No. Just stupid, stupid, stupid.

2. Ben Stiller. I hate him. I tolerate him when he's in movies with other people that I love, but he can't be the main guy. He's not funny, I don't care what anybody says.

3. Jennifer Anniston. Sorry, Rachel, but there's absolutely nothing special about you. You should not be famous.

4. Ben Affleck. Nice try with Good Will Hunting, but you-know-who stole the show, and now you have weird fake teeth and you're kind of a dork. J-Lo ruined you.

It's actually hard for me to list "deal-breakers" because Rich and I watch movies all the freakin' time. I can't say I just won't watch something with someone in it, but they better have a damned good supporting cast.

rockygrace said...

Renee Zellwegger is dating Bradley Cooper?! Life is NOT FAIR.

Domestic Kate said...

I know! And I just saw a preview for the movie where they probably met: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0795351/