Christmas Party 2006

Today is the office Christmas lunch. Lord, help me get through it. Why do I dread this?

1. The guys I work with all make more money than me, but they all dress like high school janitors. Embarrassing to be seen with.

2. A guy that used to work here, Jim, ate like he had never seen food before. Keep your fingers and toes close by, or he might just eat them too. Thankfully Jim no longer works here, but we have a new guy, hack-it-up Ed, and judging by his personal hygeine, I am afraid that his table manners might not be the best. Also, he brought in something for breakfast yesterday and heated it up in the microwave, and I don't know what is was, but it smelled like what I imagine roadkill would smell like if you scraped it off the road and heated it up. Not that that has anything to do with Christmas lunch, but still.

3. Because we have a new guy, hack-it-up Ed, this means that the Boss will feel free to tell all his stories from his ironworker days that we have all heard a billion times before. The first time, the stories were interesting. The fifth, twentieth, or thirtieth time? Not so much.

4. Because this is the last day of work before Christmas, it can be counted on that fifteen minutes before quitting time, the Boss will decide that there is a letter that absolutely has to go out the door today, and he will make me work late to finish it. Count on it.

OK that's it! I'm off work until next Wednesday (oh, but first thing Wednesday I have to take mom to the dentist - boy, what was I thinking when I scheduled that one?) so everybody have a merry Christmas and try not to kill your obnoxious relatives. Nothing dims that Christmas spirit like getting drunk and telling your loved ones what you really think about them! It might feel right at the time, but boy, you'll regret it later! If you absolutely have to get something off your chest, wait until you are stone cold sober, because then you'll realize that it's not the best idea.