You Can't Make This Stuff Up

So!  Last night, when I got home from work, I had a voicemail on my home phone from my old boss at my old job.

He wanted to know if I'd done the W2s for the company yet.

The company that I no longer work for.  The company that I haven't worked for in several months.  The company that unceremoniously downsized me after 30 years with no severance and no pension and a grand total of two weeks' notice.

To tell the truth, I was somewhere between amused and flabbergasted when I listened to that voicemail.  What did he think?  That I had come back to the office at some point (and I don't even know if the office is even in the same location anymore - at the time I left, he was supposedly preparing for a move), let myself in (with a key I no longer have) accessed the spreadsheets on my old computer (that I no longer remember the passwords for), and magically prepared the W2s for 2017, out of the goodness of my heart?

Oh, my.

I didn't trust myself to return the call without totally telling him where to get off, so I emailed him that no, as I was no longer a company employee, I had not prepared the W2s. I explained how to access the pertinent spreadsheets and advised him as to how to contact the IRS re e-filing.  I also told him where the paper files had been at the time of my departure if he wanted to access those for reference.  (Keep in mind that he hadn't bothered to do anything regarding the W2s until January 31, the day he was required by law to have them released by.)

There.  I'd gone above and beyond, considering I was no longer an employee and hadn't been  one for several months.

But wait!  It gets better!

When I got home from work tonight, I had an email from a former co-worker.   Demanding to know why I'd screwed him (and his entire family!) over by not preparing the W2s ONCE I KNEW I'D BEEN CANNED LAST SPRING.

That's right.  According to this former co-worker, once I'd gotten the old pink slip last spring, I should have sat right down and prepared everybody's W2s for the year right there, on the spot.  To spare him any inconvenience lo these many months in the future when he was ready to prepare his taxes.

I replied, explaining that W2s cannot be prepared until the end of each calendar year, because employees often come and go during the course of a year and I had no way of knowing what may have happened with payroll in between the time I got canned last spring  and the end of  the year.  I reminded him that I had not been employed by that company for SEVERAL MONTHS, and that it was the responsibility of the company, not myself personally, to make sure that W2s were released in a timely manner.

I called him a "dumb fuck", and I ended with email with, "In conclusion, fuck you".

My only regret is that I forgot to add  "... and the horse you rode in on."

It sure has been an interesting week, I'll give it that.