Today I had to go for my pre-employment physical for my new job. Because I'll be working in a medical facility, I had to provide proof of vaccination for, basically, every disease known to man.
Amazingly, I still had the little vaccination booklet that my mom kept for me as a child (thanks, mom!) (keep in mind all my standard vaccinations were done far, FAR before the computerized medical records area). There was one vaccination (measles, I think) that I didn't have adequate proof for, necessitating a titer, and also I didn't have any recent TB testing, which might mean a brief delay in my employment until I can go through the required, two-tests-a-certain-amount-of-time-apart TB tests.
And then it was time for the drug screening, meaning urine test. I've given urine many, many times before at my doctor's office (ewww, sorry) for various things, so I figured, sure, no problem.
Except, I was not prepared for the sheer AMOUNT of urine (gross) I would have to give for the drug screen. I flunked on the first go-round (not enough of a sample), so they tossed that sample and I was told that I had three hours to tank up on water, wait for it to move through, and then produce an adequate sample. And I had to stay right there, in the office, and if I could not produce a sufficient sample in the three-hour time span, it was Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Get Job.
And here's where the Camel-bladder comes in. Back in high school, I was in the marching band, meaning a lot of travel to "away"football games and band competitions. Via school bus (no toilets). And once we got to wherever we were going, the lines for the bathrooms at the destination facility were always LOOOOOOONG, not to mention that at the football games, the "facilities" usually consisted of sketchy port-a-potties.
So I learned to "hold it" a very, very, very long time, is all I'm saying. And not that it actually comes up in conversation a lot, but many people over the years have remarked on how long I can go without needing to pee.
So. Three hour time limit, no pee and no job. And I can hold it FOREVER.
Oh snap. Time to chug. I estimate I drank AT LEAST a gallon of water, if not more, during the first hour. Then I waited. And waited. At that point, the facility was getting ready to close(!), and I would have to return the next day, first thing, to try again if I couldn't produce. And I still didn't have to pee.
I grabbed the nurse, said "let's give this a shot, because I don't think I can do this again tomorrow" (water intoxication, it's a thing, guys) and headed for the bathroom.
SCORE. I had plenty. (yuck, sorry.) I aced the pee test! And I swear, it's going to be a long, long time before I voluntarily drink a glass of water again. *urp*