Tuesday, January 13, 2015
Oh great. Now I'm never going to sleep again.
I briefly considered going to see The Babadook this past weekend, but decided that given my aversion to all things scary, it would probably be a bad idea. And then I ended up spending all weekend tie-dying the ceilings anyway.
Which is good, because I ended up scaring myself badly doing laundry* on Saturday, so if I had also gone to see The Babadook, it probably would have pushed me right over the edge.
But then, I was paging through the Sunday paper coupon section, and I came across an ad for ... this:
What. the. actual. F*CK.
It's a monkey doll. A MONKEY DOLL.
*stifles a scream*
I couldn't help myself. I had to google this company. Surely this was a joke, right? Surely people aren't actually buying ... infant monkey dolls?
*runs into the bedroom and hides under the bed*
I ... really? Is this really a ... THING?
The company website had FIVE PAGES of monkey dolls. FIFTY-ONE ENTRIES.
I am hoping that by putting these monstrosities up here, it will act as a kind of aversion therapy, inuring me to the horror that is monkey dolls. That is my fondest hope at this point - that once having seen monkey dolls, I am now immune to the horror.
*I washed a sports bra in the with rest of the laundry, and somewhere between the bed (where I sort laundry) and the drawer where I keep my bras, it ... disappeared. Just ... gone. A GHOST STOLE MY BRA.