........ and then I transported a fish in the office coffeepot.

......... what? You think I'm kidding?








Thanks to Bridgett's brilliant idea, I was able to find a new home for Tattoo Molly with a co-worker. And actually, the coffeepot made a really excellent transporter - relatively stable base, with lid so the fish can't jump out. And if the Boss's coffee tastes a little funny? Oh well!

Bye-bye, orange platy

The last Orange Platy kicked the bucket this morning. I said good-bye, and I gave her a proper flusha-funeral.



To tell you the truth, I'm kind of "over" the whole fish tank thing - cleaning it does not rank high on my list of fun things to do. Now I have to decide whether to get another companion for Tattoo Molly, or just wait for Molly to kick it, and then stow the tank.



Decisions, decisions.

Just Happy To Be Here

With the exception of The Runt, everybody in my household almost met their makers this weekend.

On Saturday morning, I discovered that the spike bar that supplies power to the fish tank had come unplugged, and the tank water was down to 66 degrees. The fish were sluggish, but recovered once the tank got back up to temp.

On Saturday afternoon, I made possibly one of the worst decisions of my life by deciding to take a back road home from the grocery store. I had assumed that the town would have plowed and sanded this particular twisty, turny, extremely steep road by then; I was wrong. Suffice it to say that I was shaking by the time I finally got off that hill.

Yesterday, Little Girl disappeared for several hours in the snow and cold and wind. I finally found her in the garden, snuggled next to Mr. Z (a garden statue) underneath his tarp.

So this morning, when it's seven degrees out and windy? That's okay. We're all still here.

You Can't Make This Shit Up

Just as I thought my life could not get any more confusing, I find myself accidentally embroiled in an animal rights controversy.

After my one platy kicked the bucket Saturday night, the remaining platy was acting kind of lonely, so I decided to get another fish Monday after work. I wrote earlier about some really cool-looking fish at the pet store - fish with polka dots and stripes and heart-shaped marks. So I went to that store (yes, yes, the same one that sold me the overpriced heater that DID NOT WORK), and it turns out that the neat looking fish are called "Tattoo Mollies". Folks, I swear it NEVER CROSSED MY MIND that these fish might actually be TATTOOED. I swear, I thought it was just the name of the fish. Maybe they are called that because the markings LOOK like tattoos.

So! I got Miss Molly home, got her (or him, as the case may be; I forgot to ask) settled into the tank, and (s)he seems to be doing fine, and the platy also seems calmer with another fish in the tank.

And I went on line this morning to see if I could find some good pictures of tattoo mollies, because the ones I took myself last night didn't turn out so hot. And I discovered the Great Tattoo Molly Controversy, because it turns out THE FISH ARE ACTUALLY TATTOOED. I shit you not, over in Thailand (land of the strange and the highly illegal), they take regular mollies, sedate them (supposedly), and TATTOO stuff on their sides. And of course, the animal rights people are all up in arms over this, and vowing to boycott pet stores that sell tattoo mollies, and oh holy god now I feel like an ax murderer because I bought a damn fish.

So here's the fish in question. It's the white one in the center of the picture, with the orange polka dots and the (oh holy shit I swear I did not know) TATTOOED blue heart on her side. Now that I think about it, it looks like those polka dots might be tattooed on as well. (I plead ignorance!) You can see the orange platy behind her. They are actually about the same size; the molly looks bigger because of the camera angle.




Oh Miss Molly, I'm so sorry. I had no idea that by purchasing you, I was supporting the fish-tattooing industry in Thailand. Please forgive me.

(P.S. - In case you checked the date on this post and are thinking this is all an elaborate April Fool's joke - I WISH.)

Living in the Twilight Zone

So! On Friday, the work week was finally over, so I got home, kicked back, and relaxed.

And then the phone rang.

It was my niece, who was staying with my mom while my sister TIB was out of town. My niece explained that my mom had been trying to call me, but "was having some problems with the phone", so my niece volunteered to dial my number, and put my mom on the line.

Mom was, to say the least, confused. She wasn't sure who she was talking to, she wasn't sure where she was, and she kept talking about how Christmas was coming soon. But hey, she's still a very pleasant person, and it's always good to talk to her, if a bit confusing.

I got off the phone with mom, and the phone rang again. And it was Jabba the Hutt, from downstairs. Jabba who drives me crazy with his LOUD LOUD NOISE.


Jabba, speaking VERY LOUD: "I wanted to offer my condolences on the death of your son".

Me: (?)

Me: "Um, thanks, Jabba, but I don't have a son. I don't have any children".

Jabba: "You don't? P. told me that your son died."

(Note to Self: Kill P. the next time I see him.)

Me: "No, Jabba, I don't have a son. My cat, Rocky, passed away - is that what you're thinking of?. Maybe you misunderstood what P. said."

So we finally got things straightened up, sorta, and I got off the phone, and I unplugged it for the rest of the night.

My life just keeps getting stranger. Saturday night, one of my fish died. I swear, one minute it was swimming around the tank, and the next time I looked over, it was dead on the gravel. Sheesh. I'm beginning to feel like the Black Death, or something.

Fishes and a Mystery

The fish are in the upper right corner of the tank - one is partially hidden behind a plant. Still don't see them? Look for two out-of-focus orange blobs. Yep! That's them.

I am a little embarrassed to admit that I have been enjoying the shit out of these fish. I actually stare into the tank and watch them swim around. Is fun! Really! And much more entertaining than last night's episode of "American Idol".

And I am learning new things, too. Like, these fish do not like to have the light on in their aquarium. AT ALL. If I turn on the light, they get all nervous and jerky and start darting around all over the place and they're all like, "AAHHH!!!! AAHHH!!! BRIGHT LIGHT!!! BRIGHT LIIIGGGGHHHTTT!!!!!" So I turn the light off, and they calm right the fuck down. Back to gravel-grazing (WTF is up with that, anyway? What of interest are they finding in that gravel? I have a sneaking suspicion that it might be their own poop, and I sure hope I'm wrong about that), lazily hanging out, etc.

So now I only turn the light on when I want to mess with their minds. (Kidding.) (Sort of.)

Oh! But I do have a mystery for you! When I was at the pet store on Monday (returning a heater which DID NOT WORK, despite costing twice as much as the heater I was going to buy but was talked out of by the pet store owner himself, thankyouverymuch, and the pricey heater he sold me DID NOT WORK, did I mention that? And did I mention that I went to CrapMart and bought a heater that was half the price, and ACTUALLY WORKED? And was totally submersible, which the other heater was not?) ..... oops, where was I? Oh, ok, I was at the pet store, and I was looking at fish, and they had these fish that were, like, half an inch long, maybe 3/4 inch, and they were white. And some of them had pink and blue vertical stripes, and some had pink and blue polka-dot markings, and some of the striped ones had, I shit you not, heart-shaped markings on their sides. And I was all, like, holy shit, look at that! And then I was all, well, duh, obviously somebody PAINTED these fish to look like that. Fish don't just LOOK like that. But then I was all, like, but how the hell would you paint a fish? I mean, how would you dry them off enough to get the paint to stick? And wouldn't the paint just wash off once you put them back in the water? And who has the TIME to paint all these fish, anyway? And even if you outsourced it to China, to a fish-painting factory, wouldn't the factory employees just eat the fish instead of painting them?

Such were my thoughts in the pet store. And I did not think to look at the front of the tank and get the NAME of this particular kind of fish, because that would be too easy. And now I'm not inclined to go back to that particular store, because of the whole incredibly-expensive-non-functioning-heater thing.

So, what are these fish? Are they born with these really cool stripes and polka-dots and hearts? Or are they painted fish? Please tell me - I'd love to know.