Passed Away

 From left:  Arline, my mom, and two of my sisters.  1963.

Longtime readers here will remember my sister Arline, known here on the blog as "Texas".

Last Sunday, Arline passed away.

She had had jaw surgery for a bone infection a couple of months ago, and had been losing weight ever since.  By the time a friend convinced her to go to a doctor two weeks ago (who sent her home, advising her to "drink more fluids" (she weighed 70 lbs. by then)) and then to the ER a few days later, CT scans revealed metastasized cancer and she was becoming non-responsive.   She was transferred to inpatient hospice care last Saturday.  I spoke with the hospice nurse Saturday night, who advised me that Arline had less than a week to live.  On Sunday morning, I booked a flight which would leave on Monday morning.

I didn't make it in time.  Her friends were there holding her hands when she died, but I was not.

 Arline and my mom.

I flew down anyway, both because I just wanted to be there, and also because as executor of her estate, I know that I would have responsibilities that needed to be attended to.

 Arline digging up daylilies.

Arline was 75, and was a beautiful, gentle yet strong-as-steel person.  She was a role model for me; from her, I learned that you don't have to have a husband or children in order to live a full, complete life.  I learned that having a fulfilling career is important to women as well as men.  I also learned how to think for myself and face the consequences of my own decisions.  I learned that just because everyone around you is spouting a certain opinion, it doesn't mean that you have to agree.  I learned that there can be strength in gentleness and listening.  I will miss her very much. I hope she knows I thought the world of her.  I hope I expressed that often enough.

Rest in peace, Arline.  I will miss you very much.