And hiking always makes me feel better, or at least less frantic, for a couple of hours.
I can't say that the hike eased my mind completely, but it calmed me down for the day.
And on the job front: I have submitted 19 applications in the last week. I have one interview scheduled on Wednesday morning, and I have a solid lead on another position, plus several of my applications are currently under review. I am scrambling like mad to find another job.
And here's something that I have to laugh at: Back when my mom was alive, she would occassionally gift me with a self-help book. I'd always laugh, and say something like, "what?! You think I'm in need of help?!", but I knew she meant well. I remember Dr. Phil was a particular favorite of hers. Most of those books I've given away over the years, but the other night, as I was sitting here at home feeling helpless and depressed, I looked over at my bookshelf, and there was one of mom's books. "I Will Not Be Broken", by Jerry Smith. I laughed, and picked it up, and started reading it, and after a few pages I grabbed a highlighter and started marking passages, and I'll be damned if reading that book hasn't helped. Thanks, mom! I love you!
So yeah, a lot of mood swings lately, and a lot of fear, but I'm pressing on. What the heck else am I going to do?
10 comments:
{{{hugs}}} to you!
You are going through some crazy stress right now - but I really think you did the right thing by bailing out of the first position. You *WILL* find something much better, and it will be soon! I am certain of it!
And, go mom, with self-help books! Moms *do* know best eh?
Running away is sometimes the only rational response - even if it's just a brief respite before jumping back into the fray - you need that break sometimes - and the photos are gorgeous!
Take a deep breath, snuggle a kitty cat, and rock those interviews!
Warm thoughts coming your way. It's frightening to be forced into change. Glad to seeing you doing good things for yourself :-)
Kris
Wish we could help.
Hooray for your little mama........She had enough spirit and energy to still be helping Kid Number Six with problems in a realistic way, not just clichés.
Yeah, you are running away......but it is a productive running away. And the photos are always stunning. I sort of wish you would let one of your friends know when you take off........
spiff, I do not regret turning down that first job for one second. Even though it means that I am no longer eligible for unemployment benefits and am totally self-funded (which is scary (okay, terrifying) in itself) until I find another job, I stand by that decision. And I will tell you what, my permacats AND the foster cats are loving all the extra snuggling right now!
and Kris, thanks. :) I'm in a bad situation right now, but it'll get better. Maybe not today, maybe not this week, maybe not this month, but it will. One way or another. At least that's what I keep telling myself. :)
James P (Ginny), mama knows best, am I right? Even after she's gone. :)
And I'm sure you're noticing the disconnect - I'm always so happy on Facebook! This is why I keep the blog and my Facebook page separate. My Facebook page is for cute pics of kittens and talking about the weather, and my blog here is where it gets real and I feel comfortable sharing the more un-public areas of my life. And this blog is priceless to me right now. :)
Hang in there. Things will get better, and in the meantime a good hike always leads to an improvement in one's mood. :)
(Giving myself credit for stifling screams in my throat at reading about your sleeping in the back of your car at a rest stop, BTW.)
I always find a warm bath helpful when I am crazed, there is nothing to do there but read.
They say getting your behind into nature - and especially by water - and especially a waterfall - is very good for grounding yourself.. "earthing" if you will. It gets you centered again and the ions or whatever really do boost your brain chemistry. So you weren't running away, you were self-medicating (in a good way) Good for you for not settling in a job. I'm annoyed that unemployment benefits does not understand that taking a bad job is not an option. I hope you find something quickly.
good for you....we know that things will turn around and we know that making the right decision for YOU is most important...along with taking the time to be right with the world
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