Big Brother is here, and his name is Payless

I was out running errands the other day and decided to pop in to Payless.

"Good morning!", said the sales clerk.  "We're having 30% off everything today!  And lots of items are on sale!"  and blahblahblah as she went on to enumerate all the great! specials! they were having that day.

I did find a pair of cute summer shoes for seven bucks, and poked around a little longer, and then went to check out.

"Your phone number?"  asked the clerk, as she rang up my shoes.

"No, thanks," I said.

yeah yeah yeah, I understand why they ask for the phone number (because corporate says), but I also don't always feel like giving it out.  I'M NOT A SHEEPLE, DAMMIT!  Ha.

"Oh!" the clerk said.  "Well, if you don't give me your phone number, I don't get credit for the sale, and corporate needs to know that every single person who comes in makes a purchase, and even if it's a family of eight, if they only buy one pair of shoes then I get seven "no sales", and ...

blah blah blah she went On and ON and ONNNNNNNNN.  I didn't give her my phone number, out of flipping SPITE at that point if I may be honest, and she finally sold me the damn shoes.

okay, I left the store with two thoughts:

(a) That sounds like a terrible place to work.

and

(b) Regardless of (a), that was one annoying clerk, and I'm sorry if I took bread out of her kids' mouths by not giving her my phone number, but jeez louise, SORRY NOT SORRY just SHUT UP AND SELL ME SHOES.

Holy cow.  I'm turning into a right bitch in my old age, ain't I?  IT FEELS GREAT.

Here, have some photos

Pretty soon it'll be too cool to paddle, but for right now it's perfect. 

Meanwhile, at Foster Camp ...

Chloe:  *sniff*  "Ewwwww, Watson, did you FART?"

Watson:  "CHLOE!  Kittens don't FART!  We poof magical rainbows!"

Chloe:  "Yeah, well, your poofy magical rainbows smell like FARTS!"

Watson:  "Silly Chloe ... rainbows don't smell ..."

Chloe:   "OH YES THEY DO!  THEY SMELL LIKE FARTS!"


Only at Foster Camp do rainbows smell like farts.  *sigh*

Ain't got no time to CHAT

So!  When I left the house to go to work this morning, my cat-hating neighbor was at the end of my driveway.

"Oh, crap," I thought to myself, as I walked down the driveway, pasting a smile on my face and doing a mental eye-roll.

"Hey!," she said.  "Just wanted to let you know that (insert name of person who lives up the street) had a BEAR in her backyard the other night!  It took down their birdfeeder!"

"Oh, really?" I said, explaining that I, too, had had a bear experience.  "What's your email?  I've got a picture to send you!"

She gave me her email, and when I got to work I sent her this:

Heh heh I hope she pooped her cat-hating pants when she saw THAT.

But anyway, after she got done informing on the bear, she continued to stand there and chat, and I'm standing there, thinking, like, "really?  After you send me anonymous nasty-grams and then come and complain to me at length about the damage my cats are supposedly doing, now you want to be ... friends?"

'Cause that ain't happening.  That train right there has left the station.  And I dunno, maybe she felt bad about bitching about my (INNOCENT) cats and wanted to mend fences, but ... bah.  Nope.  Not happenin'. 

Neighbors.  Christ.

Whirlwind weekend

Man, I do not know where time is going lately, but I know EXACTLY where this past weekend went - kittie city!

Saturday, there was an adoption event at Tractor Supply in the town where the rescue is located, which is about an hour away from my house.    Friday night, I decided to bake something to take to the event - I like to have something to give to other volunteers and to people who stop by, and then I give any leftovers to the store employees.  I picked up a box of brownie mix on my way home, figuring brownies would be easy.

HA.

I baked the brownies, let them cool, and then cut them into ... squares?

WHAAAAAAT?!  No matter how carefully I cut, the brownies came out in ragged chunks.  I turned to facebook for help, where my friends informed me that without a special brownie-baking pan, brownies ... are virtually impossible to cut into neat pieces.

Sheesh.

Saturday morning, me and my ragged-ass brownies headed off to the event.  I left my foster kittens at home, figuring the long ride plus a several-hour event would be a bit much for them, got to the store, set up, then scooted over to the rescue to grab some cats and another volunteer.

It was a beautiful day, and there were all kind of animals there.  Goats and miniature horses:

Roosters:

And cats, of course:

After the event, I went out for a late lunch with one of the other volunteers (diner lasagne - I was starving and it was AWESOME), and then headed back home.

Yesterday, it was errand running and blahblahblah, except I did manage to sneak off for a quick hike, to discover that the leaves are starting to change:

And then I had to scoot back home, because ...

It was Apple Pie's BIG DAY!

Yep, little Apple was the first of this litter to find her new home, courtesy of Petfinder.com, so she left Foster Camp to go live with her family.  *sigh*

People often ask me how the other fosters react when one leaves, and all I can say is, they don't. Five minutes after Apple went home last night, the other three were doing this:

"YAAAAAY!  More food for US!"

Ha.  Kittens.  Gotta love 'em.

Gratuitous Cute Kitten Pics

BECAUSE I CAN.


"Look, it's a giant can of toona! Dis Foster Camp is the BEST.":

"Hallelujah!":

"Laydee, dese feets are bigger than my EARS!":

"Oh, not much, just hangin' out ... what YOU doin'?":

"Laydee, will you read me a book?  This looks like a GOOD one!":

"Oooooh, it's Don't Be Tardy!  I love this show!":

"... and DEN I sez ... I sez ... I forgot what I sez, ackshooally.":

Apple Pie, the girl in that last photo, will be going home soon.  A family saw her on Petfinder, fell in love, came to visit last night, and will be picking her up Sunday to take her to her new home, which will include kids, dogs, and chickens.  Apple, you're going to have a blast!

As for the rest of the crew, they will continue to chill with me, until space opens up in the rescue or someone finds them online.  Which is fine by me - as they get bigger, their personalities really start to come out.  I like watching them grow up!

TMI! TMI! Tee - Emm - f*cking - Eye!

So, I was at a thing last weekend, chatting with some other people, and one gal volunteered that she had a sore on her butt that was making her sit funny.

Um, okay?

And then ANOTHER gal started talking about her botched tummy-tuck surgery, and the mesh that they fitted from HERE to HERE, and blah blah blah

holy mary mother of god I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT.

These people are acquaintances of mine.  Not pals, not long-time-no-see old buddies, acquaintances.

Is this a thing, now?  Telling people you barely know the intimate details of your life?  Because I don't get it.

I do have some chronic medical conditions, myself, but I would rather off myself than start blabbing about them to other people.  I do bring up my allergies, on occasion, said occasion being when the meds have failed and I have to apologize for blowing my nose every thirty seconds.  I just feel better if people know that my nose is running like crazy because of tree pollen, not because of a nasty coke habit or something.  But even then, I just say, "excuse me, I have allergies" before I haul out the Kleenex.

My take on med stuff is that it should be shared on a need-to-know basis.  If it's going to interfere with my work schedule, then work needs to know about it.  If I am going to have to change plans because of it, then the people I was doing the planning with need to know about it.  They don't need to know the gory details, they just need to know that my plans are changing.

Other than that?  NO. 

I dunno. Is it just me?  Because I feel really, really uncomfortable when someone who is practically a stranger starts telling me in GREAT DETAIL about her recent struggles with shingles.  Just, ick.

Random

I know, I know, pickings have been slim around here lately - I apologize.  I've just been so dang BUSY.


Checking the mailbox and getting a letter from the local Probation Department makes your day more interesting in a hurry.  Sometimes I wonder if my mailman is judging me based on my mail. Thanks to the drunk driver hit-and-running me last fall, I've received several letters from the District Attorney and now the Probation Department.  I feel like running out to the mailman and yelling, "It's not me!  It's the dude that ran into me!"  Ha.


Somebody I know posted on Facebook about "my granddaughter, Alyvia", and I was thinking, okay, how do you even pronounce that?  Is it allie ... allie-via ..." and then the light bulb went on.
Olivia.
Jesus Christ.
If you want to name your kid Olivia, SPELL IT F*CKING "OLIVIA".
Gah.


Awesome Halloween costume idea:  Dress plus gold medals from Dollar Store = Caitlyn Jenner.  You're welcome!


I'm STILL trying to figure out the Maserati I saw parked at the local WalMart not long ago.  I'm pretty sure that if I owned a Maserati, the LAST place I'd be shopping would be WalMart.  Just on general principle.


Saw this little dude in the driveway the other night:

I posted it on Craigslist and Facebook, but nobody replied - guess somebody got tired of their Easter present.  Hopefully he'll find a home in one of the barns in the area.


I know I'm not alone in this, but I detest it when someone uses "lol" on line.  I just ... feel like asking, "Really?  You really laughed out loud at that?"  Because I doubt it.  I mean, I *do* laugh out loud, I did it just last night while watching old John Belushi SNL skits, but there is NO WAY everybody is lol-ing as much as they claim to be.  Bah.


The Cake Boss makes ugly cakes.  There, I said it.


That's my random for now!  How about you - got any random?

Holy SH*T look at those seagulls they're the size of people!

heh.

When you see a hand-painted sign by the side of the road ...

... saying "Flowers - $3 a bunch" with an arrow, pointing down a narrow lane, you kind of have to stop.

Well, *I* do, anyway.

Holy F*CK there goes the neighborhood

So, last weekend I was doing this ...

I paddled allllll the way up the reservoir and alllll the way back down.  Over eight miles, total.  I saw herons, kingfishers, ducks and eagles.  It was awesome!

And this week?  I feel like someone whaled on my back with a 2 x 4.  I can barely WALK.  There's a mysterious bruise on the side of my foot the size of a deck of cards, making me limp.

Will I do it again? Oh, YOU BETCHA.  Ha.