Sauder Furniture

I was going to write about The Incredible Torchiere, but I starting thinking about my tv stand (don't ask), so I'll write about that instead.

A while ago, I decided it would be a good idea to get a wooden tv stand sort of thing that I could put in an empty space in my living room and store stuff (junk) in. Of course I hit the thrift stores first, but everything was banged up/tilty/covered with Hello Kitty stickers/not right. I happened to be in Big Lots (shout out to Big Lots! Home of lots of incredibly cheaply produced crap!) and saw a "microwave stand" that looked just about right. (What's the difference between a microwave stand and a tv stand? The amount of weight they can bear! Put a tv on a microwave stand and watch the stand explode/collapse from the weight! How do I know? Don't ask. No, really, I've never actually tried it, but it totally seems like something I would try, with disastrous results.)

So, the microwave stand in Big Lots was Sauder brand. For those of you not familiar, Sauder sells microwave stands/bookshelves/plant stands/computer desks/etc., which come unassembled. As in, I dare you to put this together. So this stand was only $20.00, and it actually looked like real wood, although we all know that Sauder stands for Particle Board with Wood Veneer approximately 1/98" thick. I figured, what the heck, brought it home, and got ready to put it together.

I opened the box, pulled out all the wood pieces, pulled out the baggies full of screws/nuts/washers/God Only Knows, pulled out the instructions (which called for a cordless screwdriver - Ooops! Sorry! Don't have one of those!), got out my old fashioned prehistoric screwdrivers, and got to work.

And it was fun! I had a blast! The instructions were actually written in English and understandable, and I enjoyed it so much that I actually dragged out the assembly process over several days, because I am Screwdriver Woman! Putting together actual furniture (ok, ok, microwave stand)! Having fun!

A few months after that, my mom needed a tv stand for her bedroom, so I went back to Big Lots, picked up a unassembled Sauder tv stand, which was only very, very slightly different from the microwave stand (as in, it was a little bigger and sturdier to carry more weight (see above)), and took it up to TIB's house where mom lives to put it together.

And it was a nightmare. The instructions read as if they had been written in English, translated into Japanese on one of those web sites, and translated back into English again (I guess the instruction manual writers were bored that day!). The pre-drilled screwholes were off-kilter, there were too many of some screws and not enough of others, etc., etc. etc. I finally managed to get the thing together, but it was not pretty.

A few months after that, because I am stupid, I bought an unassembled plant stand, and after several attempts of trying to put the damn thing together, I had a great idea! Ha, ha, look out! I took the thing into work and proudly announced the First Ever Office Engineering Challenge! Luckily, I work for engineers! And they pounced on that bad boy, and put it together for me. Of course, there's lots of gouges in the wood, and there were some extra screws left over, and the whole thing is kind of ...... tippy. And it doesn't really look a whole lot like the picture on the box. That's engineers for you!

The moral of the story? Got me. The results of my furniture building experiences were varied. But now I've got it out of my system. Now I'm painting my apartment.