The Wheel

WARNING:  Spoiler alert!  DO NOT continue reading if you haven't watched all episodes of "The Wheel" yet.

Okay.  We good?  Here we go.

So!  The Wheel is a reality series on the Discovery Channel where they strand six people in six different South American ecozones, moving them around every time the moon changes phase or some other thing that I never did figure out.  So the contestants each start in one zone, then after a period of time ranging from a few days to sixteen days, they're switched to another zone, until each contestant has been in all six zones (unless they tap out).  Last one remaining at the end of 60 days wins.

My first survival show love will always be "Alone", obviously, but this show was interesting, too.  I really liked Lindsay, the "fitness model", bc as much as I wanted to smirk at a "fitness model", she really had her shit together.  She made it to the final three before tapping.

Which left the final two - Luke, who irritated the SNOT out of me by singing hymns and thanking God for all the fish he caught (yo, dude, YOU'RE the one with the fish net.  I'm pretty sure God's busy doing other stuff right now), and Adam, who I called "Bible-lite" bc he, too, was really into God, but at least wasn't as heavy-handed about it.

The season finale was Friday, and ...


... they both "won".  Both Luke and Adam lasted all sixty days, which is amazing.  And the Grand Prize was

... nothing?  They just got to ... go home?  With bragging rights, I guess?

WHAT. THE. HELL.  These dudes just about starved themselves to death in some godforsaken climates ("Mountain Zone", anyone?), and they didn't even get any MONEY for it?

Booo.  Hisssssssssss.  That just don't seem right.

What's On

I'm sitting here switching channels between "My 600 lb. Life" and "The Great American Baking Show", and I'm sure someone smarter than me could probably provide some incisive commentary about the dichotomy in our culture about food attitudes, blah blah blah, but whatever, I'm really just killing time waiting for the latest episode of "Alone" to start on the History Channel at 9 p.m.

My name is RockyCat, and I am a reality TV addict.  Ha.  :)

Home strange home, indeed

Some of you may remember that I used to do Freaky Friday posts, when every Friday I'd highlight some weird-ass thing that I had around my house.  I stopped doing them a while back; not because I'd run out of weird stuff, but I just kept forgetting to take more pics. 

I was in the Foster Room with the kittens this morning, flipping through the TV channels, when I came across a show on HGTV called "Home Strange Home".

HOME STRANGE HOME

Um, hello?  HGTV?  HAVE I GOT A HOUSE FOR YOU.

COME ON OVER.

Forty-six? FORTY-SIX?!

Okay, so I was sitting at home the other night switching back and forth between hurricane coverage and Nineteen Kids and Totally Insane, because frankly,  I can only watch so much devastation before I have to switch my mind to something it can actually process.  Like batsh*t crazy religious fanatics.

And Nineteen Kids and Totally Insane was all about Michelle Duggar's forty-sixth birthday.

Forty-six?!  Does that woman look forty-six years old?! 

Hell, no!  I mean, if I had to guess her age, I woulda put it in the mid-thirties.

But I guess that explains the problems she's had with carrying kids to term lately.

Honey, you're forty-six years old.  You've got NINETEEN kids.  Give it a rest, already.

Geez.

Ryan Smith

I was watching this documentary on PBS the other night following singers auditioning for the Metropolitan Opera National Council. It was really interesting, and one singer in particular caught my attention.


His name was Ryan Smith, and he was 3o; older than the others auditioning. He explained that he had started training to become an opera singer, ran out of money, went bankrupt, got back on his feet, and decided to give it one last try. You just had to like him; he always had a great big smile and a booming laugh.


At the end of the documentary, Smith was one of the winners! And he went on to the training program at the Lyric Opera of Chicago.



A year later, he was dead of lymphoma at 31.





If there's something out there you want to do, go do it. Right now. Because you never know.

It was like watching Jeffrey Dahmer audition

Okay, okay, I'll admit it - I caught some of American Idol last night. And I have to say, that dude who sang "House of the Rising Sun" creeped me right the f*ck out.

The segment went on and on and on, with him acting creepier and creepier, and I couldn't figure out why they'd give a misogynistic sociopath so much air time, unless they were trying to warn the people of Boston (where last night's auditions were held) that a Hannibal Lecter is in their midst.

And here's the thing - a lot of the weirdos on that show are obviously putting on an act. They figure the stranger they are, the better their chances of getting airtime - and let's face it, they're right. But I got the feeling that this dude was not acting AT ALL, that he went home after the audition and strangled some puppies or something.

I honestly thought twice about posting this, because I get the feeling that this is a dude who will google himself and then hunt down anybody who said anything bad about him.

Just leave it in the comments, okay, bud?

Oh, yeah, and what happened to Posh Spice's face? She looks like Jocelyn Wildenstein! Yikes!

..... and while I'm on the subject ...

...... of pop culture, what the f*ck is up, Survivor? You voted Shambo off? SHAMBO?

Dear Survivor-people: You need to get that little Machiavellian bastard Russell off the show RIGHT NOW. PRONTO.

I don't understand these people. They're wandering around the damn island bleating like flippin' SHEEP about how Russellllllll willl wiinnnnnn, bleattt bleattt bleattttt, when all they have to do is VOTE HIS ASS OFF.

Of course, the minute they vote him off, I'll stop watching, because then it won't be any FUN anymore, not being able to watch evil Russell manipulate his flock of freaking SHEEP, but still.

Save yourselves, Survivor-people.




Updated 12/21/09 to add: The finale was last night, and Russell lost to a woman with a Bumpit in her hair. *sigh*

Well, I thought about the Army .....

So! Last night's Sing-Off!

First, let's backtrack to Tuesday's show. I am embarrassed to admit that when they did "Freedom 90", I knew every. single. word. And, the song got me thinking about the album it was on (yes, I said "album" - I am old) and the song "Praying for Time", which totally rules, and which I also sang, in its blessed entirety, during a commercial break.

I know the words to twenty-year-old George Michael songs! Aren't you glad you don't live with me?

Anyhoo, moving on to last night's show. That college group, the Beelzebubs, or however the hell you spell it? I've come to the conclusion that they're my faves because I have a totally inappropriate crush on the chunky, curly-haired dude. I don't know if I want to give him cookies and milk or f*ck the hell out of him, and that's just wrong.

But! "Baba O'Reilly"? Really?! Rock on, dudes!

I couldn't figure out why the lady judge was on the show, because none of her comments made any sense. Then I read the captions and discovered that she was a "Pussycat Doll", which ..... um ..... aren't they strippers? WHY IS SHE ON THE SHOW?

I'm getting a little tired of the beat-boxing. I mean, I know they need it to keep time, but still ..... and I just now thought about how much spit must be on the floor of that stage by the end of the night and ........ ew. Just ew.

Oh, and Voices of Lee did Man in the Mirror, which, Michael Jackson notwithstanding, is one of the best songs ever. I'm sorry, but that song is the shiz. Too bad Voices of Lee butchered it.

One last thing: Seeing as how BEN FOLDS is a judge, when, oh when is one of the groups going to whip out "Jesusland"? Come on, guys, there's only one night left! Man up! Or wait ..... "Army!" I wanna hear somebody sing about three sad semesters and Chick-fil-A!

My prediction? The Beezlebubs (or however the hell you spell it) for the win!