Wednesday, May 13, 2015


Oh my God, the soap opera with my sister Ditzy continues.

All was quiet for a few days, and then the calls started again.  Monday, she asked me to come up on my lunch break, and when I did, she didn't even WANT anything.  "I just don't want to be alone all day," she said.

Well I DO, sis.  I DO.

She called me AGAIN yesterday morning, saying that she "might have to go to the hospital" and wanted to give me a set of housekeys in case she was "in the hospital for a long time".

With a MIGHTY EYEROLL, I went up at lunchtime.  She claimed she was feeling "worse",  and wanted to know if I could take her to the emergency room and wait with her there.

"Where's Chris (her long-time, long-suffering boyfriend)?" I asked.

"Oh, Chris will be stopping by," she said, vaguely.

"Ditzy," I said, "I think it's time that your two (adult) kids stepped up to the plate.  I can't take you to the hospital and then wait with you.  I have to go back to work.  I'll call the ambulance, and you call the kids and have them meet you at the emergency room."

Just then, Chris showed up.  I told him that I was going to call 911, and that Ditz needed to call her kids to meet her at the emergency room.  I called 911, the ambulance showed up (all her vital signs were COMPLETELY NORMAL, btw), they loaded up Ditz and got her on her way to the ER, and then it was just me and Chris.

And then the truth came out.

"I broke up with Ditz a while back," Chris said.  "But she just keeps getting sicker and sicker, and I don't have the heart to not be here for her now.  She even started wearing the engagement ring that I gave her again.  She hasn't worn it for years.  I told her that it wasn't going to make any difference, that I wasn't going to come back, but she still thinks I will, if she needs me."


So THAT's where all this is coming from.  Long-time boyfriend dumps her, she's suddenly without someone to give her sympathy and headpats, and *I* start getting phone calls.  And she ramps up the illness level in a last-ditch effort to hang onto her man.

"Chris," I said, "you don't owe Ditz anything.  Lord knows you've put up with her fake "illnesses" for all these years.  The family wrote her off years ago.  If her two kids don't want to help her out now, then she's going to have to figure something else out, because I've had it with her, personally.  I'm sorry, but that's the way it is.  I'm not going to be her next enabler."


And now?  Caller screening, baby.  If she calls me at work, the call is going to go the answering service.  If she calls me at home (Update:  SHE DID), it's going straight to voice mail.  If her kids won't help her out, then she's SOL, because I'll be damned if I'll enable this bullshit. She can hire somebody to hold her hand.

And that?  Is why they oughta let me teach at Bitch School.  I'd be damned good at it.

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