Last Friday, I felt so overwhelmed by everything that's going on lately on the job front that I knew I had to get away. So I hopped in the car and headed for Gorge Country. I was so stressed and depressed that halfway there I had to pull over in a rest area, crawl into the back of the car, and sleep for half an hour, but I pressed on. When I am frightened, my first impulse is always to run. :)
And hiking always makes me feel better, or at least less frantic, for a couple of hours.
I can't say that the hike eased my mind completely, but it calmed me down for the day.
And on the job front: I have submitted 19 applications in the last week. I have one interview scheduled on Wednesday morning, and I have a solid lead on another position, plus several of my applications are currently under review. I am scrambling like mad to find another job.
And here's something that I have to laugh at: Back when my mom was alive, she would occassionally gift me with a self-help book. I'd always laugh, and say something like, "what?! You think I'm in need of help?!", but I knew she meant well. I remember Dr. Phil was a particular favorite of hers. Most of those books I've given away over the years, but the other night, as I was sitting here at home feeling helpless and depressed, I looked over at my bookshelf, and there was one of mom's books. "I Will Not Be Broken", by Jerry Smith. I laughed, and picked it up, and started reading it, and after a few pages I grabbed a highlighter and started marking passages, and I'll be damned if reading that book hasn't helped. Thanks, mom! I love you!
So yeah, a lot of mood swings lately, and a lot of fear, but I'm pressing on. What the heck else am I going to do?